Poisons of war
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My father, a Vietnam veteran who suffered from post-traumatic stress disorder, took his life in November 1976, when I was only a year old. The nature of his death kept the details of his life, his illness, and his suicide hidden in grief and shame for many years. My mother’s secondary PTSD kept her from being able to tell me about who my father was or about the battles she fought with the Veterans Administration to connect his death with the trauma of war. For years, I have gathered evidence. I read over three-hundred letters, written by my parents and converted them into a narrative. I went through hundreds of photographs and slides. I found articles that my father had written. I interviewed a doctor who evaluated my father for PTSD and later helped my mother with her claim for benefits. I interviewed a journalist my father worked with in Vietnam. I listened to twenty hours of audio tapes that were made by my father after he returned from the war. I read dozens of books about fathers who died, fathers who committed suicide, and fathers who went to war. I worked with veterans and the children of veterans. I researched Vietnam, the war in Vietnam, post-traumatic stress disorder, and secondary and transgenerational post-traumatic stress disorder. I received a grant from the UMKC Women’s Council and went to Vietnam to visit the places my father was stationed during the war. Through this process, I believe I found the truth about who my father was and why he was unable to recover from the things that happened to him in Vietnam. I hope that I have been able to capture and communicate something important about the cost of war.
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Critical introduction -- Poisons of war
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M.F.A. (Master of Fine Arts)