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The New Showme December, 1930; by Students of the University of Missouri Columbia, MO 1930

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Missouri Showme Journalism Show Number $00.15 "Waiting Without" J.C. PENNEY Co. THE MISSOURI SHOWME 3 SCANDALUVIOUS Editor's note: The Showme allows the following material to go to the printer only with some remorse. It is of the type that constitutes more than ninety per cent of contributed matter, but this, we believe, is un- usually good. Only the best of the bad goes in! Certainly, it is not because that it picks on the Del- ta Gams that we print it. We'd wager the Providence Road girls drew the publicity because their name fits into the meter and because Monsieur X happens to be dating at the present time at 904. He even makes the brag that he could do as well by many houses. Somewhere in Columbia Sometime in November Mr. Lynn Mahan, Editor, Missouri Showme. Dear Lynn:- Attached hereto you will find the idle thoughts of an embryo tabloid man during an almost sober vaca- tion. I trust you will find time to cast your editorial optics over them. I promise you quite sincerely that publishing any of the material inclosed herein will kick up quite a stew in certain quarters of the campus, and will run up your circulation figures maybe as much as a dozen copies. What more could any editor ask? It grieves me very much, my dear Lynn, to be forced to keep my identity a secret even from you. Don't misunderstand me and think that I don't trust editorial discretion. I have the greatest of confidence in you, but circumstances force me to be doubly dis- creet. Anyhow I never forgave the editor of the Old Outlaw for giving me a by-line and running my stuff under my name. Imagine my embarassment at see- ing my name in print, for all who would to make bright cracks about. In order to keep such a thing from occurring again, I, perforce, must remain as MONSIEUR X Songs of the Leathernecks This is not a tale of the Kappa Sig and the girl the boys call Mable, Nor the Theta kite nor the Kappa key nor the Pi Phi kitchen table. This is not a song of an SAE, caught, alas, with the goods, Nor the hectic tale of the Sigma Nu who lost a blonde in the woods. Nor is it a song of vacation time along fraternity row, When the lights go out, the brothers up, and the gin supply runs low. These are the songs of the Delta Gam-much power and glory to you; These are the tales the girls won't tell-they're the leathernecking crew. Singing the songs of the Delta Gam, happy and gay are we- A toast, a toast, the cry goes up; let's make it a week- end spree. Oh it's week-end, a week-end-Allah surely will pity The plight of the two from the leatherneck crew who week-end in Kansas City. Who knows the tales of the Terminal gang, the Tiger and Tavern too? The question is easy, the answer breezy-the leather- knecking crew. Who are wordly wise and know their boys as modern maidens do, With a different pin for every dress?-The leather- necking crew. (Continued on page Twenty-three) Goldman's Tiger Club 4 THE MISSOURI SHOWME The New Missouri "Showme" VOL. II. DECEMBER 9, 1930 NO. 4 Editor-in-Chief, LYNN C. MAHAN Managing Editor, ELLIOTT E. REDIES MANAGERIAL STAFF Maxine Bickley J. W. Brown, Jr. Helen Leisner Collette Smith Eugene Rich Elinor Pryor Barney Meyers Dan Safier Richard Montague Bud Newcomer Frances Rush Maynard Hartley Exchange Editor, Dick Slack Henry Riedel David Russell Marcella Shepard Ann Curtis Frank Miller Dorthea Pickett Clarence Coburn Pat McMullen Humor Editor, Foust Roper H. C. McDonnell Bill Mack Roy Schumacher Harry Smythe Marjorie Mattson Art Editor, Harold ("Abie") Elfenbein Lovan R. Hall Bill Dalton Jack Baker Hazelle Sparks Arthur Houston Paul Bumbarger Earle O'Rourke John Bickley Jack Hackathorn Harold Boyle Mary Folse Business Manager, C. EVERETT HOWES BUSINESS STAFF Jack Linck Mary Lundeen Frank Tooley Jane Lindsay Selma Levin Advertising Manager, E. Willis ("Bill") Brown Jane Lindsay Edith Wells Charline Holloway Louis Cook Evelyn Russell Sydney Smith Herbert Cummings Bill Clark Ruth Coursault Circulation Manager, Frances ("Sis") Arnold Gene Moore John Rush Thornton Wood Dennis O'Connell Lyle Weatherholt Emma De Hall Gregory Hutchison Joyce Schenk Poetry Editor, Dick Sharp Bud Newcomer Katherine Bayne J. D. White Andy Squires cover by Harold ("Abie") Elfenbein and Lovan Hall Copyright, 1930 by Missouri Chapter of Sigma Delta Chi. Exclusive reprint rights granted to College Humor Published by Sigma Delta Chi as the official humor and literary publication of the University of Missouri. Address all communications to the Showme, care Herald-Statesman, Columbia, Missouri. CONGRATULATIONS With this issue the Missouri Showme inaugurates what it hopes may become a tradition, the Jour- nalism Show Number of Missouri's comic. Herewith is the first attempt. Perhaps future editors, working upon our precedent, can improve. We hope so. At any rate, we believe the idea-that of tying up the leading student dramatic effort with the leading student journalistic product of the campus-is good. We hope that the Missouri Showme in presenting the program has attained a degree of excellence not too far below the level of the 1930 Journal- ism Show, itself. "Waiting Without . . .," Journalism Show Commission, receives our heartiest congratulations. THE MISSOURI SHOWME 5 The Showme Show To Our Critics We had a chat-absolutely not a conference-with Dean Bessie Leach Priddy last Saturday. Just as dean to man. "The Showme?-just a bit risque." She smiled. We knew that. but really thought, comparatively, Mis- souri's comic sounded like a Sun- day school. Questioned further, Dean Priddy believed that too much drinking and necking was be- smirching Showme's columns. And we added another question to the dog-eared notebook. Should we hide the hidden from the hiding? And other questions penciled there, un- answered: Where is the line between risque and the risky? What actually do the stu- dents want that deans won't mind ? Or is that a noble way to view it? How many sales are re- quired this month to give a margin for the printers and engravers? And despite our School of Journalism training, the final question looms up like a sheriff's sale to the turned-out mortgagor. With an average increase of about seventy-five each month so far, and a brighter future, reassur- ing, Showme sales may lessen our anxiety. But Showme is new. It has no favorable background, nor prece- dent. (The Outlaw was only an- tecedent.) It has no working capital except an impecunious de- termination to pay off a too high purchase price and to leave the campus the beginnings of a stable humor magazine. And, believe us, there's a prob- lem. Salvation swings upon a sound solution. Solution swings on interest. Now what is interest? EMPHATICALLY, we'd like to publish the finest comic in America. And when, if ever, we find that non-existent line of de- markation between the cleanest and the finest, by the shades of Rabelias, Boccaccio and Balzas, we shall. * * * * It is always interesting to hear criticism of the University's condi- tion and practices by one who not yet has become be-fouled and, con- sequently, inured by them. Transfers immediately find us cribbing and "hocking." Surprised and placed at disadvantage, they re- mark about it. And we supposed that we were just an era or so be- hind others even in this highly de- veloped despicable art. A recent editorial implores and deplores. We view with alarm. Wasn't it ever thus? Now if only sociologists would decide between instincts and habits, heredity and environment, we might be able to trace the thing to its source. And correct it. Dinner with a Chinese student the other day. Not uncommon, but this dinner was particularly illum- inating. The result follows: How does the foreign student, of foreign tongue, and ear, and eye, sit and talk with us about literature, politics, the stock market, U. S. geography, affairs of state, child- labor and prohibition in as author- itative manner as we laboriously assume, while on affaires interna- tionales, he makes us sound like sophomores ? And now the University of Kan- sas City! Five teachers colleges, four or more military academies, a double- dozen denominational and privately endowed institutions, and junior colleges in every other county seat. An expansion policy for the Uni- versity? Yes? From where will the increase come? Aggressive competition with these step-sister schools? China and the Argentine? Or a more thorough high school recruit- ing? The latter? There are twice as many now trying to work their way through college as can find jobs. But we're pro-administration. There's a mellow method in the madness. State legislatures only read re- lationships in figures. And we can try. Where are the shows of yester- year ?-Back in competition days.- Back even before Dozier Stone signed the famous anti-DeGraff- and Meyer-Merchants' petition. Back in the days when even a fren- zied boycott wouldn't frenzy. Two shows in seven weeks for us. One was marvelous. The other we went to see because of the lead- ing lady. And wondered whether or not she too had athlete's foot. Columbia is not getting the shows. A few years back the best came here along with Kansas City and St. Louis runs. "All Quiet on the Western Front" was about a year behind. The best we've al- ready seen; the rest we don't care to. The movies, the pool-rooms and the stadium. Take your pick of Columbia's entertainment. We do. -L. C. M. 6 THE MISSOURI SHOWME Miniature Polo "I understand that Hiram sold his farm for a song." "Yes, the notes were too high for him." Fly Tox song Fly Away With Me Lifebuoy song .. . .Body and Soul Listerine song---.--------.Just a Little Closer Lucky Strike song.-----.My Sweetie Went Away B.V.D. Ditty.Don't Tell Her What Happened to Me Autumnal Dirge The knees I knew, the knees I know, The knees I knew of yore, Such ones I've seen, what fun they've been!- But now they'll be no more. Once every pair with modest air Displayed itself to view; Their shapely grace and not the face Filled college men's Who's Who. Beneath the dress-ah, such distress!- Their charms are once more hidden, And to the eyes the salt tears rise And linger there unbidden. Each recent gown drops stately down And covers half the floor- And all of these sweet wind-swept knees, Ah, they shall knock no more! -H. V. B. Stadium Sam, better know as Clyde Columns, wants to know where he can find the neck of the woods. Annual Christmas Joke "Is that a reindeer?" "No, Honey, that's snow." Professor-"Write a thousand word paper on Frank- lin's bust." Student-"His bender in Philadelphia or the one in Paris ?" "My entanglement with the opposition," said the military man, describing a recent conquest, "resulted in her complete demoralization." Dashing through a shave and into your clothes and down to a cab and over to her apartment and up to her door to find out that your date is for tomorrow night is just like rushing eagerly through one of these long sentences to find out that there's no dirty re- mark at the end of it. "That locksmith is certainly a very nervous man." "How come?" "He's all keyed up." "Waiting Without" Whitman's Famous Candies are Sold By Peck Drug Co. Harris Cafe Prather Drug Company 8 THE MISSOURE SHOWME University Shoppe HARRIS' FROM SANTA CLAUS' M. U. LIST Old Santa was wheezing and snorting as he looked over his Christmas lists. "Dern me," he said, "this Missouri campus is just chuck loaded with people who want presents. Here's the list as far as I went." It is with pardonable pride that the Showme presents this list of requests and hopes that Christ- mas Day will find the stockings (and socks) well filled. We feel the stockings will be. Charley Hughes-A nice, big volume of "Love's Labor Lost." Ann Dudley Killiam-More cows to conquer. Connie Read-A robot Secretary. Al McCollum-A better Savitar than last year's. The Showme-Something funny. Clif Hull-Ten cans of "Sez me." Guy Green-A parrot that knows a few new cuss words. Lucy Wilson-The autobiography of Ruth Han- na McCormick. Tippy Smith-More crutches and more, "You- help-me-I'm-so-weak" glances. Bud Pollitt-Another Phi Mu dinner for self and staff. Hal Foster-A left handed "monkey wrench" for use at dances. Mary Jim Barnes-A few more heathens to edu- cate. (in politics). Carl Ulffers, Bill Clark and John Trimble-Slot machines, decorations and 200 bucks. Gyda Hallum-A good-sized scooter to replace the Austin. Don Cox-A shiny musical baton. Bill Harrison-Some recognition at the Phi Delt house. Marshall Craig-Another winning Tiger team. Jap Smith-More political campaigns to manage. Carl Goetz-Recipe for home brew. Gladys Salter-Another good photographer and a new coiffure. Catherine Sharp-A new ensemble. (for pictures only). Laurence Coffman-More appendix operations. (without rumors). Roten Schweitzer-A male beauty contest that will actually go through. Bubbles Cotton-Another "cotton edition" of the College Humor. Dick Deimer-Free trips to Kansas City. And as for those who didn't get their names on the list we can only hope that Santa will find your chimney before the stork does. Missouri Showme Journalism Show Program Waiting Without. 10 THE MISSOURI SHOWME Journalism Show Commission. E. K. Johnston, director of the entire production. Frank H. Gearhart (left) and Maxine Bickley (right) Co- authors of the play. THE MISSOURI SHOWME 11 THE PLAYERS In The Order of Their Appearance Dwight Johnson .--. --.----.--- -. ---.--- -------. Sobig, the caretaker Vera Pulliam .-.- --. .-.--.----. ------------------- Lil, a chorus girl Clarence Coburn . -- - -----------------. . ----------Ziki, a chorus man Elliott Redies .--.--. --. Unky, the stage manager and director of the show George Clay .-.-----.---.---------.------ ------- Tom, owner of the show Clark Miller _ -----------------~~. .------------------- .Gobler, a stage carpenter Dixie Brown -----~~.- . .---------. .----.-------- Mrs. A. Hardy Black-Smyth Ruth McAllister ----. ---.--.---------.-.------- Sue, a ward of Mrs. Black-Smyth Stanley Bonham .-.--. .----. ----.--. .-----.----- Ryding, a soda clerk Roy Mason .--.-- --.---- -----------.---- Faker, the announcer The Revusical Fred Akers Joyce Burns Clarence Coburn Betty Davidson Helen Duncan Frank Eschen Ruth Fite Frank Gearhart J. C. Goodwin Patricia Herbert Mark Harrington Martha Harlan Jean Lane Thelma Martin Roy Mason Virginia Stillman Peggy Sparks Dennis Southard Betty Stump Beatrice Sprinkel John Thomy Dorothy Viner Edith Wells 12 THE MISSOURI SHOWME "Waiting Without" FIFTEENTH JOURNALISM SHOW Presented by the University of Missouri Journalism St udents Association, Inc. Officers of the Association The Journalism Show Commission Marvin Goforth, Chairman President - Ed McLaughlin Jane Lindsay Ralph Jennings Vice-president - Jessie Cosgrove James McAtee Jessie Cosgrove Secretary-Treasurer - Frances Corry Patricia Herbert Evan 'Moe' Rutherford The Staff Costumes-Ethel Carnahan, Marion Gray Franklin, Harold Elfenbein, LaMonte Davis Staging-Jules Fogel, Harold Kopel, Adrian Gum, Sherman Ware, Howard Lawler, James Jacobs, Lovan Hall, Morris Richards, Bradford Bond, Harold Clark, Theodore Cooper, Lex May, J. W. Brown, Jr., Joe Pongonis, Ed McGrath, Harold Fellman, Lewis Roop. Supplement-Harold Fellman, Margaret Ann Weldon, Fred Murphy, Ed Smith, Cecil Bragg, Helen Shepherd, Douglas Attaway Tickets-Frances Corry, Thelma Suggett, Betty Huey, Brooks Ann Cole, Zona Moore, Fred Webber, Carita Miller, Sarah McClendon, Katherine Curtis, Art Whitsett, David Joslyn Publicity-Lucille Wallace, Eugene Moore, Jean Hardesty, Jack Linck, Edward McGrath, Bob Horiguchi, Lynn Mahan Program-Missouri Showme Specialty-Esther Witt, Janice Simon, Frances Curtis, Richard Sharp Make-up-Ruth Coursault, Lucille Olney, Frank Gearhart, Ted Wallower, Erma McAllister, Winifred Tiffin, Grace Townsend, Lorraine Harrelson. Ushers-Joe Marston, Frederick Brokaw, H. R. Kernberger, Joseph Soraghan, Cecil Bragg, Maynard Hartley. The Story Maxine Allen Bickley and Frank H. Gearhart Dances and Chorus Costumes Blanche Jameson McHarg Stage Design and Managing Harold Kopel Voice Direction Warren Peterson Skit Direction Patricia Herbert Comedy Songs Direction Maxine Allen Bickley Entire Production Under Direction of E. K. Johnston The Action Time-The Present. Place-A Small Town in Missouri Act 1-The Gem Theater, just before rehearsal (Intermission, five minutes) Act 2-One Hour Before the Opening Performance, three days later. The Revusical (Intermission, ten minutes) Act 3-The Revusical continued (Above) Martha Harlan, re- vusical player. (Right) Dennis Southard and Joyce Burns, specialty dancers. (Left) Fred Akers and J. C. Goodwin, specialty dancers. (Below) Virginia Stillman, So- loist in Revusical. 14 THE MISSOURI SHOWME Miss Ruth McAllister, who plays the part of Sue, ward of Mrs. A. Hardy Black-Smyth. Men's Chorus Stanley Bonham, Ryding, a soda clerk. THE COM Comedy team- at the right: E left: Maynard Hartley, Dwig THE MISSOURI SHOWME 15 George Clay, Baritone, the Masculine Sing- ing Lead, as Tom, Owner of the Show. Women's Chorus Dixie Brown, Mrs. A. Hardy Black-Smyth. DY TEAM ott Redies, comedy lead; to his t Johnson, and Clark Miller. 16 THE MISSOURI SHOWME Peterson's Studio WOLFF'S The Play and the Revusical Act I Easin' My Feelin' . . .-----------. .-----------. .Mrs. Black-Smyth, with Johnnie McGuire at the piano For No Good Reason At All .Ziki, Ryding, and Mrs. Black-Smyth, with Johnnie McGuire at the piano For No Good Reason At All --.-----.--------.------------------------------Unky and Ensemble Act II Who Am I Thinking Of .-.-.----Sue and Tom (just one hour before the opening performance). The Revusical 1. Overture .-.------.----------. ---- ------------------Johnnie McGuire's Tiger Club Band 2. How'd You Like To Have A Willy Nilly Girl.---- eorge Clay and Dixie Brown with boys and girls Neat Ankles . -----.--- .------------------------------------------------- George Clay, with girls 3. Dance .----.-.-.~---.--- . ------ ------ ---------------------------- Thelma Martin and Joyce Burns 4. Four Little Puppets .-----.era Pulliam, with Fred Akers, John Thomy, J. C. Goodwin, and Clarence Coburn. 5. With You .-.-. ----.------- ------ ----------.Virginia Stillman, with George Clay and boys 6. The Poor Little Match Girl- A Match Girl-Betty Davidson A Millionaire-Frank Eschen The Chauffeur--Frank Gearhart 7. Romona From Arizona .----.--.------.---. --- ----- ---- -------- ---------- Ruth Fite, with boys 8. Who Am I Thinking Of . --------.-. ---------------George Clay, with Helen Duncan and Betty Stump 9. Moanin' Dragon Blues .------------ ------ . Peggy Sparks, Martha Harlan, and Mark Harrington 10. Waiting Without- The King-Dwight Johnson The Queen-Edith Wells A Slave-John Thomy H.R. Mueller Florist THE MISSOURI SHOWME 17 COCA-COLA BOTTLING Company 11. Dance .-- --. ---. --.--.------.------------------------------.Thelma Martin 12. College Life Is A Dream Life .--------.---.---Stanley Bonham and George Clay with Male Chorus On the Campus .-----.-----.---------. Mark Harrington, Stanley Bonham ,and George Clay -13. Night Football- A Boy-Clarence Coburn A Girl-Beatrice Sprinkel A Voice-Roy Mason 14. When Cupid Plays the Two of Hearts .--------.----George Clay with Vera Pulliam and girls Dance . .-----------.-------------------- ------ .Dennis Southard 15. My Kingdom For a Plot- A Playwright A Secretary A Villain The Sheriff Patricia Herbert A Stenographer The Mother 16. Out Looking For Love .---.-- ---- --------------- dance by Fred Akers and J. C. Goodwin 17. Your Spook and My Spook -----.--.--.----Elliott Redies, with boys and girls and Frank Gearhart as a Seer 18. My Mother Was a Lady (Believe it or not, Mr. Ripley) A Waiter-Stanley Bonham Little Mary-John Thomy A Maiden-Ruth Fite Ladies of the Evening-Betty Davidson, Jean Lane, Edith Wells, Beatrice Sprinkel Jack-Roy Mason Gentlemen of Leisure--Dennis Southard, Frank Gearhart and Joyce Burns SAMPSON'S CAFE 18 THE MISSOURI SHOWME GIVAN'S Typewriter Service Co. (Continued from page seventeen) 19. Aboriginal Diplomacy- A Boy-Clarence Coburn A Girl-Jean Lane An Indian-Dwight Johnson Jimmie--Frank Eschen 20. College Moon .George Clay, Ruth McAllister, and Stanley Bonham with boys and girls Dance-Helen Duncan 21. Four Horsemen of the Poker Chips .-.-.-.- Frank Eschen, Roy Mason, John Thomy and Clark Miller 22. Little Nell, Pride of the Prairie- Jack Dalton, of the U. S. Marines-Frank Gearhart Oscar Van Dillingsworth-Roy Mason Santa Claus-Roy Mason Little Nell-Betty Davidson Her Mother-Edith Wells 23. Dance-Joyce Burns 24. In the Land of Naki Saki .-.--.---.-- .------.Ruth McAllister, with girls, and Jean Lane 25. Sweetheart of.Old Mizzou .---------. .-.- George Clay, Mark Harrington, and Stanley Bonham 26. A Nutting We Will Go- Queen Elizabeth-Frank Gearhart Henry VIII-Frank Eschen Napoleon Bonapart-John Thomy Julius Caesar-Roy Mason Campus King, a horse-J. C. Goodwin and Fred Akers COLLEGE INN ROSENTHAL SCHOOL OF COMMERCE THE MISSOURI SHOWME 19 The WhatNot NANCY MAE SHOP 27. My Girl . -.-.-.-.------ .- . .------ -- .---.George Clay and Dorothy Viner, with girls, and dance by Thelma Martin and Joyce Burns. 28. Killin' Time .--.---------------------- -------.---Tom, Sue, Ryding, Lil, Unky and Mrs. Black-Smyth An Intermission of ten minutes follows. Act III 1. Overture 2. Gypsy Jean .--. .------------------ Stanley Bonham, and girls, with Beatrice Sprinkel, Virginia Stillman, Dorothy Viner, Jean Lane, and Ruth Fite as Manikins Dance-Helen Duncan I Wonder If You'll Remember Me .-.--.--. ----- -----.---Martha Harlan, as Gypsy Jean 3. Taken For a Ride- Mike-Roy Mason Pete-Frank Eschen Joe-Frank Gearhart 4. Dance .--------------Thelma Martin, Joyce.Burns, Dennis Southard, Fred Akers. J. C. Goodwin 5. Waiting Without .---------------- ---------.--Dixie Brown, with Johnnie McGuire at the piano 6. Lavender Lou .--------. ----.----. . ~ -.---------------. ----- .---- Stanley Bonham, with girls Dance-Fred Akers 7. Mystic Moon .-.---.----. ----------. ---------- -------------Ruth McAllister with boy and girls 8. In the Gool Old Days .---- ---. .-.-------Betty Davidson, Edith Wells, and Jean Lane 9. In A Swing-------------. ---.-----. --- -------Vera Pulliam, George Clay, Ruth McAllister, Elliot Re- dies, D. C. Johnson, Clark Miller, Clarence Coburn, Dixie Brown, and Stanley Bonham, with girls 10. Finale-Entire Company of seventy-five people. Following the final performance, Thursday night, Dec. 11, the Journalism Show Commission will be hosts at a night club dance for all who have helped in the produ ction of the 1930 Journalism Show, the entire cast and the staff of the Missouri Showme at the ball room of th e Tiger hotel. SIGOLOFF'S 20 THE MISSOURI SHOWME Authors of the Song and Skits Easin' My Feelin' . Dixie Brown For No Good Reason at All . Music by Everett Howes Lyrics by Maxine Allen Bickley Who Am I Thinking Of . Frank Condon Overture to Act 2 Orchestration by Johnnie McGuire How'd You Like to Have a Willy Nilly Girl . .From The Hundred Dollar Bill, 1911 Neat Ankles .--.-.From Bambino, 1924 Four Little Puppets . From the Green Jug, 1921 With You . From Glory Hallelujah, 1928 The Poor Little Match Girl . Patricia Herbert Ramona from Arizona . From The Love Jewel, 1923 Moanin' Dragon Blues . From The Love Jewel, 1923 Waiting Without .-. Patricia Herbert College Life Is a Dream Life . . From The Hundred Dollar Bill, 1911 On the Campus .. Maxine Allen Bickley Night Football . Carmen 'Tommy' Crocker When Cupid Plays the Two of Hearts .-- .-.-. From The Girl and the Bomb, 1914 My Kingdom for a Plot . Patricia Herbert Out Looking For Love .~. Fred Akers Your Spook and My Spook . . .-. .---. .From The Green Jug, 1921 My Mother Was a Lady . Maxine Allen Bickley Aboriginal Diplomacy . Carmen 'Tommy' Crocker College Moon . -------. Frank Condon Four Horsemen of the Poker Chips .-----------.--. .-.-.-. . -From Criscrosses, 1925 Little Nell, Pride of the Prairie .- .----------. Maxine Allen Bickley In the Land of Naki Saki . From Bagdaddies, 1926 Sweetheart of Old Mizzou .-. Music by Roy Keith, Lyrics by Patricia Herbert A Nutting We Will Go . Music by Everett Howes, Lyrics by Maxine Allen Bickley My Girl . From Glory Hallelujah, 1929 Killin' Time .---. W arren Peterson Overture to Act 3 . Orchestration by Johnnie McGuire Gypsy Jean . From The Ninth Deacon, 1922 I Wonder If You'll Remember Me . . From Quack-Quack-Quack, 1927 Taken For a Ride . Harold Kopel Waiting Without .--.-. Music by Everett Howes, Lyrics by Dixie Brown Lavender Lou . From Land of the Toreador, 1912 Mystic Moon .--. From Bagdaddies, 1926 In the Good Old Days .-- . .-.---. . . From Quack-Quack-Quack, 1927 In A Swing .-.- . From The Love Jewel, 1923 Finale . Orchestration by Johnnie McGuire * * * * JOHNNIE McGUIRES TIGER CLUB BAND Direction, Johnnie McGuire Piano-Frank Condon. 1st violin-Paul Stahlman. 2nd violin-Evan "Moe" Rutherford. 3rd violin-Roy Albertson. Banjo-Evert Kinsler. Saxaphone-Lloyd Capps. Saxaphone-Ben Naylor. .Trumpet-Sam Milam. Trumpet-Andrew Squires. Trombone-Guy Tourney. Bass-Phil Wilson. Drums-Ed Conner. The Girls' Ensemble Mary Catherine Abney Charline Holloway Jane Altman Selma Levin Marjorie Books Elizabeth Neff Ida Lee Cannon Virginia Pentecost Marion Prichard Miriam Carter Frances Rush Helen Duncan Helen Selvedge Harriet Eldred Betty Stump The Men's Ensemble E. W. ("Bill") Brown Stanley Nelson Bill Fisher Pal Powell Tom Francis John Roberts David Russell Nolan Kuehnl Dick Savage Bob Lowry arry Smyth Vernie Myers Bill Schweitzer Tom McElwrath Lyle Weatherholt WHY, DID YOU SAY? Headline in Missourian, "Holiday Extended at K. U. Students Good Behavior at Kansas-Missouri Game is Rewarded." K. U. got an extra half-day. On that basis M. U. students should get off for a week. Was there a K. U. dean in Columbia? We understand that the drug store was raided last night when the police found Lydia E. Pinkham and Dr. Pepper in the back room with a case of Listerine. THE MISSOURI SHOWME 21 Thelma Martin, specialty dancer (Right) Ruth Lindsay Hughes, rehearsal pianist. (Left) Vera Pulliam, Lil, a chorus girl. 22 THE MISSOURI SHOWME Specialty Players. Ellen Jane Froman (above right), who first sang "Mystic Moon," is now a featured singer on three radio programs. She sings with the Crosley Saturday Knights and is a Victor recording artist. Four years ago she was in the School of Journal- ism. She was a member of Gamma Alpha Chi. Frank Houston (at the left), less than ten years ago was working on "The Ninth Deacon" and "The Green Jug"; today he is author of a successful novel, "Hooper Dooper." He was a member of the old Showme staff and a Sigma Delta Chi. Jane and '"Ginger" Rogers, who with their brother, Arch made up the Rogers side of "The Ninth Deacon" and "The Green Jug", were on the Keith-Orpheum circuit after they left school. They sang in Barney Gallant's night club and in Don Dickerman's clubs, The Daffydil and the Coun- ty Fair, until "Ginger" middle- aisled it this past summer. They will make at least one more joint- appearance this coming spring at the annual dinner of the White House correspondents. Franceswayne Allen, who wrote and acted in "Quack, Quack, Quack," has been direct- ing amateur theatricals from coast to coast for the Universal Producing Co. Givan's Delicatessen THE MISSOURI SHOWME 23 (Continued from page three) It's "Policeman, policeman, officer take me home. Though I'm true to the leathernecking crew I can't get there alone." Allah have mercy on the man, who foolishly tries to woo A gal from the house of Delta Gam-the leatherneck- ing crew. Each gal in the house of Delta Gam sings this little ditty, "An anchor pin in a sea of gin is good enough for me. Anchor pin, anchor pin, here's to the gals who wear it; A bottle of gin makes the whole world kin, or mighty gosh darned near it." L' Envoi Now give us an ear you Theta girls, Kappa and Pi Phi too, Laugh up your sleeve at these sad tales and we'll tell what we know of you. Something big for all of us to do before Christ- mas vacation-a great big Christmas party with a greatbig tree and presents for everyone in school -and they'll be dirty digs too. It's Thursday, the 18th, at Harris' and free dancing to boot. And there's gonna be a big "bull" board with Santa Claus letters from everybody (written by someone else.) Satterlee's Missouri Drug Company College Humor Magazine 24 THE MISSOURI SHOWME Baby Here is our Second Edition of Real First Editions. Send in your vote Show The Prize Baby will receive a new pair of tri-cornered trousers JACK VAN DORAN POLLITT "His Innocence is Preserved" Here's more of us. And cuter'n bugs' ears! If some of us don't win this con- test, there's politics in the shadows. And politics (legal tender) really shouldn't count at this tender age. Give us a hand in this contest. Our mothers did. We're rating the page this month. Maybe you'll be next. And if you're cuter, we'll support you. But you couldn't be. Just observe closely our ears and eyes. We are four. And what a vocal quartette we can make. We are in miniature edition, dragged out as dusty heirlooms and reproduced to prove that photos never die. Austerity and dignity of campus ways are here revealed in less affected days. AI Edgar Asbury "-To ask for more than manly pulchritude" Charline Holloway "The Same 'Tell-Me-Why' Appeal" Stanley West Cox "The charm and sweetness of his smile is still his proud possession" THE MISSOURI SHOWME 25 "I'll brighten your days and nights with love," he vowed. "I'll give you a happy home and a family. I'll give you the most gorgeous of gowns and wraps and dresses-" Sighing, she shook her head. He rose slowly to his feet and dusted his trousers about the knees. "But can't we be friends?" she asked, tritely. The rejected suitor turned to go. "Certainly. But we won't have to see each other. I'm going to Africa and marry some fat cannibal wom- an." "John!" she exclaimed, the eternal feminine jeal- ousy flaring up, "You mean you're going to offer a beastly black creature all the things you've just offer- ed me?" "No," he answered, taking comfort from the thought, "What would they do with clothes?" GREENSPON'S Beauty Shop E. C. Clinkscales & Sons Coronado TAVERN DRUG STORE Gerald Statesman Publishing Co. Black and Gold COLLEGIANS 26 THE MISSOURI SHOWME Sapp Bros. MISSOURI UTILITIES CO. WHITMAN'S and MISS SAYLOR'S CANDIES Montgomery Ward & Co. Our Contemporaries Think these are Funny Dad: Son I never kissed a girl until I met your mother. Will you be able to say the same to your son?" Son: "No, dad, not with such a straight face. -Royal Gabon A patent medicine manufacturing company received the following letter from a satisfied customer. "Dear Sirs: "I am very pleased with your remedy. I had a wart on my chest, and after using six bottles of your medicine, it moved up to my neck, and I now use it for a collar-button." -Lampoon Sigma Chi (On 'phone)-"How are you this evening?" Pi Phi-"All right but lonely." S. C.-"Good and lonely?" Pi Phi-"No, just lonely." S. C.-"I'll be right over."-Exchange "How are all the little pigs down on the farm?" "Fine. And how are all the pledges at your house?" -Sun Dial He: "Babe, you're a double-dating, gin-drinking, gold- digging college widow." She: "Please don't call me Babe. It sounds so unrefined." -Froth "How is it that your parrot swears so shockingly?" "By an oversight he was left one nite in a sorority house." -Ranger Soph: "Come on, take a bath and get cleaned up. I'll get you a date." Frosh (cautiously) : "Yeh, and suppose you don't get the date ?"-Exchange "Who ever named you Quits?" "Well, when I was born, father came in the room and said, 'lets call it quits, Ma.' "-Claw First: Did you enjoy yourself when you were a Fresh- man at college? Second: Did I? Why, those were the happiest years of my life.-Chaparral Advertisement: Eskimo Spits Pups for ten dollars apiece. -Satyr When tempted by a sweetie, reach for a Lucky.-Phoenix THE MISSOURI SHOWME 27 She must have been a mechanic's daughter, because she had a good housing. -Claw "Can you multiply?" "Do I look like a rabbit ?"-Medley Two sparrows met one day on a telegraph wire. One was a nice, big, fat sparrow, and the other was a little thin sparrow. Little sparrow: "Say, how do you keep so fat?" Fat one; "Well, see that little town over there? Thats where I live. How come you look so thin?" Little sparrow: "Well, I live in a big city. There are lots of autos that go 'Putt, Putt' but you can't live on promises." -Zip 'n Tang The children of far away Andes Crawl on their feet and their handies, But when learning to creep Up mountains so steep, They use non-skid belly-bandies.-Lampoon "Son, can you direct me to the band? "Sure-for a quarter. "Isn't that pretty high pay? "Not for a band director."-Zip 'n Tang "I'm all hot and bothered." "Well, I'm hot-now if I could only be bothered." -Medley He: "Do you pet?" She: "Sure-animals." He: "Go ahead then. I'll be the goat.-Medley Having taken a two-year course in French. I approach- ed the waiter with boldness, and although they laughed when I spoke to him in French, he returned with excellent Scotch. "We are now passing the most famous brewery in Berlin," exclaimed the guide. "We are not," replied the American tourist, as he hopped off the bus.-Octopus They sat alone in the moonlight, And she soothed his troubled brow, "Dearest, I know my life's been fast, But I'm on my last lap now."-Wet Hen Delt: "Say, if you give me another kiss I'll marry you." Chi O.: 'You're practically married now."--Wet Hen And one miniature golf course closed out of respect for one of singer's midgets who drowned in the water hazard. -Pi t Panther Kress' BERNARD'S Tiger Beauty Shop Lucky Strike Cigarettes