Missouri Showme October, 1941 Missouri Showme October, 1941 2008 1941/10 image/jpeg University of Missouri Special Collections, Archives and Rare Book Division These pages may be freely searched and displayed. Permission must be received for subsequent distribution in print or electronically. Please contact hollandm@missouri.edu for more information. Missouri Showme Magazine Collection University of Missouri Digital Library Production Services Columbia, Missouri 108 show194110

Missouri Showme October, 1941; by Students of the University of Missouri Columbia, MO 1941

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Missouri Showme October 1941 15 cents Pledge Issue Chesterfield Cigarettes Missouri Showme "Thumbs up" say twenty-eight of Showme's forty-five pretty, irresistable (we hope) salesgirls. Thad Hadden, man about campus is in charge of the Miss Showme queen contest and he says, "Boys, you'll like 'em". Headquarters Staff GENERAL Ernie Hueter PAYMASTER Len Cohen DRAFTERS Art McQuiddy Basil Hartwell Ned Etheridge John Bruce Gerry Popper Len Tzinberg Ben Rogers RECRUITING OFFICER Thad Hadden MILITARY ATTACHE Dick Webster WAR CORRESPONDENTS Joanne Boeshaar Irv Farbman Charlie Barnard Hughes Rudd Bill Emerson Bob Deindorfer PHOTOGRAPHERS Duke Kornblatt Bob Holloway QUARTERMASTERS Tony Rizzo Frank Kulp Charles Hirson Bill McFadden Pat Kewley Betty Bales Ken Harwood Tex Waldman CLERKS Beverly Hofland Bette Lewis Jean Campbell Wanda Gold Jane Haggerty B. J. Smith Larry Levy June Smith Dotty Allen JUDGE-ADVOCATES Sue Vaughn Betty McQueen Mary Baker Jane Van Cleve Joan Murcheson Ellen Louise Hart June Bumann Ann Brown Betty Ann Hulse Gin Browning Rhea Ewald Ginny Allen Mary Carr Mary Jane McDonald Beverly Hofland Bob Hanger Jane Eckford Joe Stevens Jane McQueen Art McQuiddy Elain Hibbler Pollard Wreath Dave McIntyre Harry Griffin Tom Hall Jean McDuff Harry Mack Clayton Smith Joe Finley Bob Kelper Jim Isham Martha Mitchell Ed Metheny Margaret Lee Beatty Shavy Johnson Joanne Boeshaar Warren Clark Jean Mering Bill Black June Smith Bill McFadden Betty Baker Betty Luker Marge Rosen B. J. Smith Dick Webster INTELLIGENCE OFFICER J. V. Connolly ENEMY The Student Vol. XI. Oct., 1941 No. 2. Inside Communique "T" Time in Tigertown 2 and 3 Showme Goes to a Stephens Picnic . 4 and 5 To Arms! Roll Call of M. U.'s Pledge Army . 6 Fight! Fight! Fight! . 9 War and the I. M. A. Danced to It . . . 12 Revenge by Charles Barnard . 15 'Round Towner . . . . . . 30 Confession of a Nasty Spi .37 * STATEMENT OF OWNERSHIP The Missouri Showme is published monthly except July and August by the Missouri chapter of Sigma Delta Chi, national professional journalism fra- ternity, as the official humor and liter- ary publication of the University of Missouri. Price: $1.00 per pear; 15c the single copy. Copyright 1941 by Mis- souri chapter of Sigma Delta Chi. Per- mission to reprint given all recognized exchanging college publications. Ed- itorial and Business offices, Walter Williams Hall; office of publication, Star-Journal Publishing Co., Warrens- burg, Mo. Not responsible for unsolicited manuscripts; postage must be enclosed for return. These Pretty Christian College Showme Salesgirls are Joanne Miller and Mary McCloud, co- editors of the Christian Micro- phone. 1 The fastest man on the Missouri football team and as elusive a ball-carrier as can be found on any gridiron, Bob Steuber is Missouri's hope at wingback this year. He is the gentleman who has been running rampant these Saturday afternoons, and is also the guy who puts the "bite" in the teeth of the T formation Don Faurot is using this year. "T" Time in Tigertown By Irv Farbman (Sports Editor Missouri Student) (But he's not bragging about it) Once upon a time when gals wore seven petti- coats and whalebone instead of nothing, and shotguns were in flower, a bunch of guys in turtle-neck sweaters and handlebar mustachios used to play a kind of game. A burly gent called a center would suck in his beer belly and squat over a ball. Another guy called quart- erback would kneel directly behind him, and behind the quarterback from left to right in a straight line, would be three other backfieldmen. The game they played was called football and the formation they used was called the T, because it looked like a T. But it was not to be confused with Henry Ford's model which probably was still a dream on a Dearborn workbench. Last year on two widely-separated fronts the same old T-with a slight variation--exploded like a fire- cracker under the seats of the pigskin proletariate. In California's Rose Bowl and Washington, D. C.'s Griffith Stadium the Model T, plus the equally be- whiskered back-in-motion, sent the foobtall fortunes of Stanford's red-shirted Indians and Chicago's bruising Bears whirling away to the gridiron heights. And yet both the T and the back-in-motion have been around as long as Prof. Jesse Wrench or the columns-it not longer. So we barged in on Don Faurot one afternoon while the good mentor was dressing for another practice session with the plug-and-plow boys on Rollins Field. We armed ourselves with a list of what we considered leading questions and without taking aim fired away. "Coach, what made you use the T formation, was it the success of Stanford and Chicago?" "What made me use the T"? was the rejoinder. "Why my teams at Kirksville played from the T from 1929-'31, before Stanford or Chicago ever thought of it," Faurot expostulated. We were hardly ready for the next answer, however. "Coach," I said. "Did the man-in-motion suddenly make the T so effective?" "Missouri doesn't use the man-in-motion," the Thin Man replied, "but a man-in-motion is good with any formation." Well, we said to ourself, there goes a good story. Now there's nothing to write. Assistant Coach and two-time Southern Cal. All- American, Harry Smith, came to the rescue. Harry was pulling on a pair of baseball pants. "Stanford was psychologically set for a great season," he said. "They would've gone to the Rose Bowl with or without the T formation." Furthermore, he added, "The whole effect of the man-in-motion is to get the opposing linemen to watching your back- field. Once they make that mistake-bang!" Harry slapped a big fist into the palm of his hand. "You don't need a man-in-motion to do that. The T used the way Missouri does accomplishes the same thing with another kind of deception." This deception is what you and the opposing teams have been looking at this fall. Since it will be un- veiled again at Memorial Stadium next week against last year's Nebraska Rose Bowlers, this might be a good place to refresh ourselves as to what goes on in the Missouri version of the Model T. The backs line up with the blocker directly behind the center. Behind the blocker in a line from left to right are the fullback, tailback and wingback. The blockers, namely Hal Adams and Ervin Pitts, handle the pass from center on every play. The next move is up to them. They can either run with the ball them- selves, hand, pass, lateral, spin, or reverse it to Messrs. Bull Reece, Harry Ice, Bob Steuber, or who- ever is in the ball game at the time. These are the tactics that make opposing linemen begin watching what the Tiger backs are doing. When that happens said lineman is putty in the hands of a blocker, and then "bang"! As an illustration of how opponents and spectators alike suffer from Missouri's fast-breaking T take the late Ohio State game. The Tigers line-up and without calling signals the ball was snapped back to Adams who fed it to Red Wade. Before the Buckeyes or the 60,000 onlookers knew who had the ball, Red scampered 28 green-capped yards for a touchdown without even having a finger laid upon him. Most amazing of all is that the play happened so fast, the Tiger coaches were even caught napping- until Wade calmly touched the ball down in the Buck- eye end zone. So don't be too riled at yourself if you miss a play or two now and then. You've probably got plenty of company-often including the other team. Missouri's sorrel-thatched sophomore tailback, Maurice "The Red" Wade, shifts into high gear and is away for touchdown on the Memorial Stadium greensward. The red-head is alternating with Harry "Slippery" Ice this fall in filling the vacate shoes of Paul Christman, now doing his pitching for Uncle Sam's Navy. Shifty Dick Keller, Tiger fast-stepping halfback rips through a hole the size of the Holland tun- nel as fullback Mike Popovich and blocking back Ed Gerker clear the way. Keller, a promising sopho- more, is counted upon this year to understudy first-string letterman Bob Steuber. 3 Sho Goes to a Suzies from Hatcher Hall put on a confoosin' but a- moozin' sit. It was cold outside, the first day in Columbia, but nice and warm in the office. Our man in the slot yawned lazily and said, "Get the hell over to Stephens and find out about this green ribbon burning routine". We looked at him lovingly, genially, thinking how nice it was that a man of with all of his tremendous burdens and respons- ibilities could still find time to make a little joke. "Green ribbons," we chuckled. "Ha, ha. That's pretty good." A few minutes later we fell through the door of 16 College, the home cot of Stephens Publicity Carriers, panting heavily, and rubbing numb hands together. A crisp young thing in green with horn- rimmed glasses obviously designed for the Rosa- lind Russell type business woman looked up, smiled at the unshaven young man, and made inquiring noises. We spoke vaguely of people who threw green ribbons into a bonfire and added under our breath that there was certainly no sense in it as far as WE could see. "Oh yes," she said. "The Juniors do that, I believe." Well, we asked did she know anything more about it than that? Did she know when it started? Or did she know -She cut short the questions with a lifted hand, and smiled again. "Sorry," she lilted, "but per- haps Jerry might help you." Jerry, as it turned out, was away. A young man came in and was greeted with gay cries from the office force. The crisp per- son turned to us and said in arch tones that HE had been here at least forty years so surely he would know all about it. The young man boomed, "Forty- ONE!" and everyone was con- vulsed with laughter. We left, pausing on the porch to read a small sign which said, "DON'T RING-WALK IN". Oh hell, yes, we muttered as we battled wind and Suzies over to the Dean's office. And what green ribbon ceremony and picnic would be complete without wet grass, ants, etc. These girls are eating what is known as a box lunch. (Joke). WME Stephens Picnic There a blond said the dean was busy with an infraction. Giving only a fleeting thought of wonder to this statement we sat down and asked the blond if she knew anything about the Juniors and green hair ribbons. "Oh, my yes. Quite a tradition. Been doing it for years. The seniors force juniors to wear ribbons until the night of the big bonfire. Friday night, as a matter of fact, out at the lake. Lots of barbecue, skits performed by the various halls on a little stage, then the J's rush up to the fire and toss their ribbons into the flames. Why? Oh, you know, signifies end of Senior tyranny, beginning of Junior independence, that sort of thing. Not like it used to be, though. In the good old days of five or ten years ago the two classes composed songs, the words of which they tried to keep secret from each other. A Stephen's Senior of 1931 could imagine nothing better than nefariously learning the words to the Junior song, because that meant that the J.'s had to wear the ribbons until Thanksgiving. They used to rehearse their songs in the Tiger Hotel ballroom, have snake dances down town. It was wonderful!" "Just had a hell of a time, eh?" we said happily, glowing with second hand memories. The blond's face stiffened and she said that she thought the dean would see us now. Never mind, we told her, and went out the door and down the steps. As we hit the sidewalk two Suzies went past and we heard one say: "Well, I'm just crazy about Charley Boyer, but I don't think I could stand to meet him!" "Well, you just wait!" said the other. "The doctor's just like him!" We decided that green hair ribbons were hardly worth worry- ing about and went home to bed. Anything for a laugh and this fancy Ozark full dress seems to fill the bill. Emmy Martin, pretty lit- tie Suzie from Texas give forth on a range ditty. ROLL CALL OF M. U.'s PLEDGE ARMY In an attempt to be different and timely, Showme has invaded the sanctum sanctorum of the Greeks and herewith presents M. U.'s new army of B. M. and B. W. O. C.'s. Each new conscriptee has appeared before the judge-ad. vocate and has been accordingly judged and assigned to a division. It's all in fun and we hope you'll take it that way. Due to shell-shock, some of our judges omit- ted some parts of the classification. The battle has progressed too far for us to ratify our mis- takes. Ratings are along a military scheme: The boys assigned to heavy tanks, howitzer, destroyer and gas mask units; the girls to dive bomber, mosquito boat, jeep and heavy artillery outfits, and a military expression attached to each. Explanation of the ratings is left entirely up to the reader. To Arms! To those pledges who thought they were string- ing 'em along-Rush Week. Dive Bombers ALPHA GAMMA DELTA SQUADRON Pat Anderson, 19, Kansas City, 5' 5", Deceptive Laurie Schumacher, 19, Hayti, 5' 3", Firepower Joan Matlick, 20, Hannibal, 5' 9", Firepower Marjory Stone, 20, Columbia, 5' 5", Firepower PI BETA PHI SQUADRON Margaret Barnes, 20, Anderson, 5' 61/2", Fire- power. Arline Black, 20, Liberty, 5' 6", Deceptive. Marylin Bleakley, 18, Kansas City, 5' 31/", Shock. Mary Elizabeth Campbell, 17, Tulsa, Okla., 5' 7"2', Speedy. Betty Ann Eubank, 19, Kirksville, 5' 8", Mobile. Betty Hall, 18, Monett, 5' 71/", Deceptive. GAMMA PHI BETA SQUADRON Martha Scott, 17, Kansas City, Speedy. Annette Baumgartner, 17, St. Louis, Firepower. Harmony Cole, 18, Anderson, Firepower. Jeanne Hawes, 18, Columbia, Shock. Virginia McAleer, 19, Chicago, Ill., Speedy. Jackie Simmons, 19, Sublette, Kan., Firepower. Mary Rose, 18, Lake Ozark, Speedy. 6 Gerry Epp, 17, St. Louis, Deceptive. ALPHA DELTA PI SQUADRON June Sexton, St. Louis, 5' 4", Deceptive. Eileen Walsh, St. Louis, 5' 6", Firepower. Laura Jane Barker, Shelbina, 5' 71/2", Speedy. Alene Felts, Dayton, Ohio, 5' 3", Firepower. DELTA DELTA DELTA SQUADRON Connie Atherton, 17, Kansas City, 5' 7", Mobile. Virginia Billings, 19, Kennett, 5' 8", Firepower. Martha Sue Billings, 17, Kennett, 5' 51/", Speedy. Norma Finch, 19, Pittsburgh, Penn., 5' 4", Fire- power. Wanda Gold, 17, Little Rock, Ark., 5' 7", Fire- power. Eva Lee Grugett, 19, Kennett, 5' 61/2", Speedy. Connie Helm, 17, Columbia, 5' 4", Firepower. Barbara James, 18, Milwaukee, Wis., 5' 7", Fire- power. Virginia Kirkpatrick, 19, Richmond, 5' 6", Fire- power. Virginia Marshall, 19, Charleston, 5' 5", Speedy. Jean Mines, 20, Wayne, Neb., 5' 5", Shock. Betty Murneek, 20, Columbia, 5' 6" Deceptive. Geraldine Parrish, 20, Piggott, Ark., 5' 7", Speedy. Pat Shannon, 20, Edina, 5' 3", Firepower. Ellen Shattuck, 19, Ashland, Kan., 5' 51/2", Fire- power. Vivian Scott, 22, San Bernadino, Calif., 5' 6", Mobile. Jane Wagner, 20, Kansas City, 5' 5", Firepower. Betty Walker, 17, Dexter, 5' 5", Firepower. Betty Wheeler, 20, Venton, Iowa, 5' 4", Firepower. Betty Witgenstein, 18, Excelsior Springs, 5' 3", Firepower. ALPHA PHI SQUADRON Dorothy Hoefel, 20, St. Louis, 5' 5", Deceptive. Maryanna Hoefel, 18, St. Louis, 5' 7", Shock. ALPHA EPSILON PHI SQUADRON Shirley Cohen, 17, University City, Shock. Anita Scholer, 18, St. Louis, Speedy. Elaine Weber, 18, Chicago, Ill., Deceptive. Betty Feltenstein, 18, St. Joseph, Firepower. Ellen Peltson, 18, Clayton, Shock. Helaine Stone, 17, St. Joseph, Deceptive. Virginia Aaron, Hospitalized, Deceptive. DELTA GAMMA SQUADRON Evelyn Shepard, 20, Columbia, 5' 6", Mobile. Mary Jo Balke, 18, Clinton, 5' 7", Deceptive. Marjorie Opp, 19, Hannibal, 5' 2", Firepower. Margaret Morton, 17, Clayton, 5' 4", Speedy. Jane Taylor, 18, Kansas City, 5' 4", Firepower. Virginia Van Brunn, 18, Richmond Heights, 5' 6", Mobile. KAPPA KAPPA GAMMA SQUADRON Betty Thompson, 18, Kansas City, 5' 71/", Mobile. Sally Ridge, 18, Kansas City, 5' 6", Firepower. Nancy Thompson, 18, Columbia, 5' 5", Firepower. Betty Compton, 20 Springfield, 5' 7", Firepower. Ann Kirkpatrick, 18, Kansas City, 5' 51/2", Fire- power. Jane Haggerty, 19, Omaha, Neb., 5' 3", Speedy. Betty Jean Stewart, 19, Columbia, 5' 5", Mobile. Mary Meierhoffer, 18, St. Joseph, 5' 7", Deceptive. Rice Wynn, 19, Providence, Ky., 5' 5", Speedy. PHI SIGMA SIGMA SQUADRON Bernice Shapiro, 18, Sioux Falls, S. D., 5' 5", Firepower. KAPPA ALPHA THETA SQUADRON Peggy Sherman, 20, Cannon, 5' 41/2", Mobile. Ann Covinton, 18, Kansas City, 5' 6", Deceptive. Frances Allison, 17, Albuquerque, N. M., 5' 6", Shock. Barbara Leigh, 19, Webster Groves, 5' 6", Fire- power, Marjorie Smith, 18, Lebanon, 5' 5", Firepower. Kathleen Clark, 18, Kansas City, 5' 4", Firepower. Martha Lou Morton, 20, Smithville, 5' 6", De- ceptive. Nan Hatch, 20, Kansas City, 5' 7", Speedy. Susannah Cook, Ferguson, 5' 5", Firepower. ALPHA CHI OMEGA SQUADRON Janet MacBeath, 19, Kansas City, 5' 41/2", Speedy. Phyllis Duncan, 18, St. Louis, 5' 3", Speedy. Mary Hanna, 19, Crystal City, 5' 5", Shock. Virginia Cox, St. Louis, 5' 5", Firepower. CHI OMEGA SQUADRON Maxine Tappmeyer, 19, Owensville, 5' 6", Fire- power. Ann Taylor, 17, San Antonio, Tex., 5' 5", Shock. Mildred Simpson, 17, Kansas City, 5' 7", De- ceptive. Peaches Norris, 19, Kansas City, 5' 4", Speedy. Yvonne Yarington, 19, Moberly, 5' 6", Mobile. Sally Phillips, 19, Milwaukee, Wis., 5' 4", Fire- power. Virginia Schroeder, 19, Boston, Mass., 5' 3", Mobile. Nancy Smith, 19, Farmington, 5' 4", Firepower. PHI MU SQUADRON Elizabeth Barrett, 18, Ponca City, Okla., 5' 1", Firepower. Jane Ann Hall, 19, St. Louis, 5' 6", Firepower. Jeeps PI BETA PHI PLATOON Betty Ann Cole, 19, Norborne, 5', Speedy. Dorothy Fisher, 19, Glasgow, 5' 51/2", Firepower. (Continued on page 8.) 0* * Jeeps-Cont. (Continued from page 7.) Lola Lyons, 17, Leavenworth, Kan., 5' 2", De- ceptive. Eleanor Pace, 18, Kansas City, 5' 11", Mobile. Charlotte Wise, 19, Joplin, 5' 4", Firepower. GAMMA PHI BETA PLATOON Amy Freudenberg, 17, Steelville, Mobile. Nancy Gibson, 19, Springfield, Speedy. Bette Jane Gifford, 19, St. Joseph, Mobile. Anna Dale Langtry, 19, St. Louis, Firepower. Bonnie Linss, 20, St. Louis, Speedy. Alice Reed, 20, California, Deceptive. Grace Stemme, 21, Chesterfield, Speedy. Polly Shannon, 19, Ohio, Ill., Speedy. Norma Edwards, 17, St. Louis, Firepower. ALPHA DELTA PI PLATOON Marjorie Oberholtzer, Williamsfield, Ill., 5' 2", Shock. DELTA DELTA DELTA PLATOON Jane Davidson, 20, Arkansas City, Kan., 5' 4", Speedy. Sue Douglas, 17, McBain, 5' 2 1/2", Firepower. Marietta Hewitt, 20, Kansas City, 5' 6", Speedy. Helen Humphrey, 19, Indianola, Miss., 5' 31/2' Deceptive. Jane Kempster, 19, Columbia, 5' 4", Mobile. Bette Lewis, 17, Tulsa, Okla., 5' 2", Firepower. ALPHA EPSILON PHI PLATOON Lois Betty Weenick, 18, St. Louis, Speedy. Naomi Baskin, 18, Paducah, Ky., Firepower. Joan Lewine, 17, New Rochelle, N. Y., Deceptive. Margery Helzberg, 17, Kansas City, Deceptive. Elaine Becker, 18, Kansas City, Deceptive. DELTA GAMMA PLATOON Patty Lou Wallace, 17, Kansas City, 5' 4", Speedy. Martha Martin, 18, Columbia, 5' 3%", Speedy. Carmelita Morgan, 19, Webster Groves, 5' 4", Deceptive. Dorothy Lyden, 19, Joplin, 5' 5", Deceptive. Ruthie Hustad, 19, Duluth, Minn., 5' 4", De- ceptive. Marjorie King, 19, Greenfield, 5' 4", Speedy. Midge Holley, 21, Fairport, N. Y., 5' 2%", De- ceptive. Jean Durant, 17, Columbia, 5' 3", Mobile. Lorraine Stephenson, 18, St. Louis, 5' 4", De- ceptive. June Heger, 17, St. Louis, 5' 51/", Deceptive. Barbara Ann Albrecht, 19, Columbia, 5' 4", Speedy. Virginia Sue Durrett, 19, Columbia, 5' 11/2", De- ceptive. PHI SIGMA SIGMA PLATOON Ruth Marion Baruch, 19, New York, N. Y., 5' 4", Mobile. Evelyn Klein, 17, St. Louis, 5' 11/", Deceptive. KAPPA KAPPA GAMMA PLATOON Pat Sullivan, 18, Kansas City, 5' 3", Deceptive. Marilyn Jenkins, 18, Kansas City, 5' 212", De- ceptive. Pat Kewley, 17, Springfield, Ill., 5' 3", Firepower. Barbara Handley, 17, Chicago, Ill., 5' 1", Fire- power. KAPPA ALPHA THETA PLATOON Molly Phelps, 19, Kansas City, 5' 2", Speedy. Eleanor Stuckey, 17, Jefferson City, 5' 4", De- ceptive. Bodge Woody, 19, Springfield, 5' 3", Mobile. Ann Henry, 18, University City, 5' 6", Mobile. Jean Dick-Peddie, 17, Dallas, Tex., 5' 1", Speedy. Jebbie Franke, 18, Webster Groves, 5' 5", De- ceptive. Frances Yunker, 20, St. Joseph, 5' 312", Fire- power. Ruth Capps, 18, Columbia, 5' 5", Deceptive. ALPHA CHI OMEGA PLATOON Mary Meyer, 18, Hannibal, 5' 1", Shock. (Continued on page 10.) * e g "You're a Beta. Let's stay there tonight." FIGHT ! FIGHT ! FIGHT! . and the Tiger Claws can do it/ Tiger Claws, in case you freshmen don't know about it, is a campus organization for scaring HELL outa our opponents on the athletic fields. It endeavors to be louder, longer, and cornier than the other side, thereby creating a pyschological situation which causes the other side to lose. (No one likes to be growled at.) This year, to add further zip and zest to the orange-jacketed, husky- voiced members of the squad, John "Play 'Em Clean" Latshaw, prexy, is introducing a new menace who will be known as "Tigress". The "Tigress" will be selected from 100 beautiful girls-100-and will be the glamour puss of the M. U. campus. She will be seen at all foot- ball, basketball, and pinball games slinking gracefully in the fore- ground, and will go along as an added attraction when the Tiger Claws fare to the K. U. hunting grounds for their prey. To select this queen, who will reign not as a Cinderella-in other words, a one-night stand-there will be a glorified taxi dance on the en- tire floor of Read Hall Friday afternoon, October 10th, featuring Bob Baker's orchestra and the 100 beautiful girls who have been chosen from sorority and independent houses on the campus. Tiger Claws rallies will cause a further uproar every night before a big game, and all Missouri stu- dents may join in. No holds are barred, but biting is prohibited as being unsanitary, so release those inhibitions, bare those claws, let the native in you come out, and growl along with the crowd. Girls with soft purrs and can opener nails may report to the Showme office for further instruc- tions. Our genial coach Don Faurot: "The boys played a good game. I'm proud of them." Part of the local gang of 800 students and members of Tiger law who braved the cold and Sunday morning curse give forth in a lusty chorus of "Old Missouri" for our returning Tigers. To be helpful, Showme herewith prints the words to our two school songs. May we suggest to all freshmen and pledges that you learn these. To upperclassmen and actives no suggestion need be made. And who may these pretty lassies be? Why candidates for Tiger Claw's title of "Tigeress", of course. "OLD MISSOURI" Old Missouri! fair Missouri! Dear old varsity, Ours are hearts that fondly love thee; Here's a health to thee! Proud art thou in classic beauty Of thy noble past; With thy watchwords honor, duty, Thy high fame shall last. Every student, man and maiden, Swells the glad refrain, Till the breezes, music laden, Waft it back again. "EVERY TRUE SON" Tune: Tipperary Every true son, so happy hearted, Skies above us are blue; There's a spirit so deep within us, Oh, Missouri, here's to you. Rah, Tigers! When the band strikes a Tiger war song, And when the fray is through, We'll go tramp, tramp, tramp around the columns With a cheer for old Mizzou. (Then give the "Varsity" yell at end.) 9 Jeeps-Cont. (Continued from page 8.) Ruth Nickerson, 19, Kansas City, 5' 3", Deceptive. Rosellen Reeder, Canton, Ill., 5' 3", Mobile. Patty Schutt, 18, Columbia, 5' 3", Speedy. Lois Doran, 18, Independence, 5' 2", Mobile. Bernice Bliesner, 18, Lawrence, Kan., 5' 6", Mo- bile. PHI MU PLATOON Alice Mundy, 18, St. Louis, 5' 2", Shock. Sue Cunningham, 19, Knoxville, Tenn., 5', Shock. CHI OMEGA PLATOON Sue Alexander, 18, St. Louis, 4' 10", Deceptive. Helen Burgess, 19, Amarillo, Tex., 5' 21/2", Fire- power. Mildred Owens, 18, Columbia, 5' 4", Firepower. ALPHA GAMMA DELTA PLATOON Ruth Ray, 18, Middletown, 5' 3", Deceptive Marcelle Charlet, 18, New York, N. Y., 5' 4", Shock Vera Mae Hill, 19, Hayti, 5' 3", Deceptive Ruby Ray, 20, Middletown, 5', Firepower Mosquito Boats PI BETA PHI FLEET Dorothy Allen, 17, Tulsa, Okla., 5' 51/", Mobile. Malcolm Sheppard, 17, Columbia, 5' 5", Speedy. Barbara Jean Old, 17, Moberly, 5S 6", Deceptive. Mary Jo Bushman, 17, Kansas City, 5' 5", Fire- power. Ann Cain, 19, Kansas City, 5' 6", Mobile. Nancy Kelley, 20, Webster Groves, 5' 6", Mobile. Mary Hughes, 20, Macon, 5' 5", Mobile. Nadine James, 17, Kansas City, 5' 6", Mobile. KAPPA ALPHA THETA FLEET Jean Whitehead, 19, Kimmeswick, 5' 41/2", De- ceptive. 10 Dorothy Anderson, 17, Chillicothe, 5' 7%/", Mo- bile. Mary Brooks, 18, Oklahoma City, Okla., 5' 7", Deceptive. Jean Ralston, 19, Columbia, 5' 5", Deceptive. Catherine Hagan, 18, Columbia, 5' 6", Firepower. ALPHA CHI OMEGA FLEET Maxine Kelly, 20, Muskogee, Okla., 5' 101'", Mobile. Dotty Reed, 20, Morrill, Neb., 5' 7", Deceptive. Kathryn Frick, 20, Kansas City, 5' 3", Shock. Kay Boring, 18, Warsaw, 5' 7", Deceptive. Jeanne Giese, 17, Clayton, 5, 9", Speedy. Shirley Klosterman, 18, St. Louis, 5' 6", Deceptive. Jinny Hicks, 17, St. Louis, 5' 6", Shock. Frances Jones, 20, Marceline, 5' 512", Deceptive. Mary Dougherty, 18, St. Louis, 5' 81/", Firepower. Sarah Lockwood, 19, Clarksville, Ark., 5' 7", Deceptive. PHI MU FLEET Harriett Rex, 19, South Dartmouth, Mass., 5' 5", Mobile. Mickey Kelleher, 18, Kansas City, 5' 5", Speedy. Jean Howe, 17, Steelville, 5' 6", Deceptive. DELTA DELTA DELTA FLEET Elizabeth Applegate, 20, Albany, 5' 4", Firepower. Audrey Bowen, 19, Kirkwood, 5' 6", Deceptive. Helen Jean Calkins, 20, Arkansas City, Kan., 5' 4", Deceptive. Jane Reising, 17, St. Louis, 5' 6", Shock. Venita Rush, 20, Kansas City, 5' 6", Shock. Anne Shibley, 19, Carrollton, 5' 61/", Mobile. ALPHA PHI FLEET Beverly Sly, 18, Fairfax, 5' 5", Mobile. Jane Scarbrough, 17, Chicago, Ill., 5' 3", Speedy. Beverly McPherson, 17, Tarkio, 5' 3", Deceptive. ALPHA EPSILON PHI FLEET Helen Mae Greenstone, 19, Detroit, Mich., De- ceptive. DELTA GAMMA FLEET Gloria Dwyer, 16, St. Louis, 5' 6", Mobile. Joan Cline, 17, Carthage, 5' 4", Mobile. Becky Lou Taffoon, 19, Kansas City, 5' 6", Shock. Marilyn Higdon, 18, Gary, Ind., 5' 2", Deceptive. Janet Taylor, 18, Kansas City, 5' 4", Deceptive. Martha Hupp, 19, Marshall, 5' 5", Deceptive. Gloria Burr, 17, Kansas City, 5' 5", Firepower. PHI SIGMA SIGMA FLEET Frieda Shiner, 19, Butte, Mont., 5' 2", Shock. Edna Hamburger, 18, New York, N. Y., 5' 6", Firepower. Harriette Pollangin, 18, Pittsburgh, Pa., 5' 3", Shock. Suzanne Levy, 18, Higginsville, 5' 7", Mobile. Lee Horwitz, 18, St. Louis, 5' 6", Speedy. Anita Faier, 17, St. Louis, 5' 4", Mobile. KAPPA KAPPA GAMMA FLEET Joyce Woodbury, 18, Kansas City, 5' 71/", Mobile. Anne Wright, 18, Grover, 5' 3", Shock. Shirley Conkling, 20, Liberty, 5' 9", Firepower. Mary Almquist, 18, Columbia, 5' 61/2", Mobile. Janice Woodbury, 18, Kansas City, 5' 8", Mobile. Martha Moore, 19, Chillicothe, 5' 21/", Mobile. Virginia Cox, 20, Springfield, 5' 6", Deceptive. Helen Louise Gregg, 19, Kansas City, 5' 3", Deceptive. Toni Thompson, 20, New York, N. Y., 5' 5", Deceptive. Mary Moore, 21, Chillicothe, 5' 51/", Deceptive. Bitty Aull, 19, Lexington, 5' 5", Shock. Jean Ronayne, 19, Columbia, 5' 4", Speedy. Becky Means, 19, Jefferson City, 5' 61/2", Fire- power. Pem Barton, 17, Kansas City, 5' 61", Mobile. CHI OMEGA FLEET Eleanor Langevin, 18, Fort Leavenworth, Kan., 5' 51/", Shock. June Morrison, 17, Fort Knox, Ky., 5' 2", Mobile. Fay Birdsong, 19, Belle, 5' 5", Shock. June Wright, 17, Steelville, 5' 3", Deceptive. Dorothea Sager, 19, St. Louis, 5' 4", Deceptive. GAMMA PHI BETA FLEET Mary Ann Craig, 19, Illmo, Mobile. Marian Bender, 17, St. Louis, Shock. Thelma Clevenger, 18, Columbia, Deceptive. Jeanne Jaeger, 18, St. Louis, Mobile. Doris Jean Lauth, 17, Brentwood, Speedy. Janet Noel, 17, Springfield, Shock. Virginia McBride, 18, St. Louis, Mobile. ALPHA DELTA PI FLEET Harriett Funkhouser, Plattsburg, 5' 51/%", Shock. Adele Corp, Kansas City, 5' 2", Mobile. Lois Brown, Kansas City, 5' 7", Speedy. June Ann Poe, Marion, Ill., 5' 41", Mobile. Betty Alice Boyce, Roanoke, Va., 5', Shock. ALPHA GAMMA DELTA FLEET Virginia Lee Fider, 19, Braggadocio, 5' 6", Shock Jane Jones, 20, Columbia, 5' 8", Mobile Betty Ann Sugdan, 20, St. Louis, 5' 1", Deceptive Mary Katherine Burks, 18, Cyrene, 5' 6", Decep- tive Elizabeth Jacobs, 17, Warrensburg, 5' 5", Mobile Louise Beckham, 20, Cooter, 5' 6", Deceptive Kathleen Lyman, 19, Macon, 5' 5", Deceptive Mildred Martin, 20, Columbia, 5' 5", Mobile Heavy Artillery ALPHA CHI OMEGA DIVISION Marilee Hoester, 18, Kirkwood, 5' 51/2", Shock. Bobbe Russell, 19, Kansas City, 5' 8/", De- ceptive. Jeanne Rood, 19, St. Louis, 5' 41/2", Firepower. Marjorie Barfnet, 19, Kansas City, 5' 6", De- ceptive. CHI OMEGA DIVISION Phyllis Stevenson, 19, Moberly, 5' 4", Shock. Joan Hurst, 21, Wichita, Kan., 5' 9", Deceptive. Dot Miller, 18, St. Joseph, 5' 3", Speedy. PHI MU DIVISION Arline Ziegler, 18, St. Louis, 5' 3", Mobile. GAMMA PHI BETA DIVISION Betty Kelly, 18, Kansas City, Mobile. Mary Louise McPherson, 17, Mt. Vernon, Mobile. ALPHA DELTA PI DIVISION Katie Kelly, Mobery, 5' 5%", Mobile. Jeannette Robitshek, St. Louis, 5' 1", Mobile. Mary Ellen Jeffress, Plainton, 5' 2", Mobile. (Continued on page 13.) WAR And the 1. M. A. Danced to It Haymer (Joseph the Sub- Rosive) Flieg: "The Russians are repulsing the German of- fense. Which proves that the Russians can be as repulsive as the Germans are offensive." Student Editor at Home. Harlan Byrne, erstwhile ed- itor of the Missouri Student "by the grace of God and a drunken election", so his shingle says, is here seen es- caping into a gas shelter. The Student has just come out. Joyce Hatcher is the brave girl. Solar bodies acted in strange concert on the M. U. campus the night of October 3. Mars, god of war joined forces with that friend of romance, the moon, as 80 stalwarts from Fort Leonard Wood staged a highly successful invasion, capturing the same number of the University maidens. "Hostilities" were continued at the "War Dance", Mars inspired and I. M. A. spon- sored. As far as the I. M. A. was concerned, Mars was the big shot at the dance with the moon a casual bystander. Seventy-five M.M. guns, an air raid shelter, flying regimental colors, and a crack military band furnished the trappings of war to make real the I. M. A. given title, "Fort Rothwell". In the manner of Orson Welles intermittent news reports warned of the approach of Nazi bombers. Immediately after a report from Jef- ferson City had been read, lights in the "Fort" flashed out and siren wailed in full throated warning. At this point it is reported that the influence of the moon began to be felt, an influence rudely quelled by an overzealous chaperone who shouldered the I. M. A. switchboard man aside and turned the overhead light back on. Refusing to be bothered by a trifle like an unblack blackout, the siren walled on while the roar of airplane motors and anti-aircraft guns reverberated throughout the "Fort" and searchlights swept back and forth in search of enemy bombers. As personal friends of Mars. both Hitler and Joe Stalin were present, at least by proxy. Mars had to take a back seat to the old Moon after the dance, however, 'tis said there's something about a uniform that makes a girl's heart beat faster, and any soldier can tell you that the mere mention of a girl will bring a gleam to the eye of the fighting man, We don't think it's any of our business what the boys and gals did after the dance, but the situation was well in hand. To make the War Dance more authentic, Private Al Hays and Corporal James Hoefling- er came down from Ft. Leonard Wood to es- cort Martha Sue Fletcher and Helen Flynn. S. G. A. Prexy Woody Tay- lor and Stephens Suzie Nor- cey Grant emerge from a bomb shelter after an "all clear" signal. They were es- caping a barrage . . hmmmm . . yes. Heavy Artillery--Cont. (Continued from page 11.) PI BETA PHI DIVISION Virginia Allen, 19, Jefferson City, 5' 63", Fire- power. Gloria Steed, 16, Kansas City, 5', Deceptive. Eileen Potter, 18, Kansas City, 5' 51/", Firepower. Gerturde Tucker, 19, Cranston, R. I., 5' 3", Shock. DELTA DELTA DELTA DIVISION Mary Ethlyn Brown, 19, Bristol, Okla., 5' 6", Fire- power. ALPHA EPSILON PHI DIVISION Selma Friend, 18, Chicago, Ill., Mobile. DELTA GAMMA DIVISION Dorothy Boyer, 20, Kansas City, 5' 6", Shock. Barbara Johnson, 18, Kansas City, 5' 6", Fire- power. KAPPA ALPHA THETA DIVISION Pat Hawks, 19, Waterbury, Conn., 5' 4", Fire- power. Phyllis Deaderick, 17, St. Louis, 5' 61/2", Shock. Jeannie Wyatt, 18, Webster Groves, 5' 31/2", Fire- power. Catherine Mack, 19, Springfield, 5' 712", Fire- power. Patty Dawson, 19, Jefferson City, Shock. ALPHA GAMMA DELTA DIVISION Freida Zuber, 18, Bowling Green, 5' 8", Mobile Virginia Freseman, 18, Washington, D. C., 5' 7", Shock Jean McRoberts, 18, Canton, 5' 7", Firepower Howitzers SIGMA NU BATTERY Darwin Brown, 20, Blackfoot, Idaho, 6' 1", Inter- ceptor. Bill Long, 19, Quincy, Ill., 6' 2", Sleek. Milt Carson, 20, Kansas City, 5' 101/2", Counter- Attack. Bob Moore, 18, Joliet, Ill., 5' 6", Counter-Attack. Jack Rain, 17, Alton, Ill., 5' 6", Interceptor. Bob Cody, 21, St. Louis, 5' 9", Interceptor. Richard Roysdon, 17, Fort Benning, Ga., 5' 10", Sleek. Jim Davis, 20, Monett, 5' 9", Sleek. Leland Bierman, 19, Monett, 5' 10", Sleek. Bob Webb, 19, Columbia, 5' 8", Counter-Attack. C. K. Odor, 17, Columbia, 6' 2", Counter-Attack. Joe Enslen, 17, Mexico, 5' 11", Sleek. PHI GAMMA DELTA BATTERY Frank Coday, 20, Kansas City, 5' 10", Interceptor. Cal Conett, 19, Faucet, 5' 10", Retreat. Joe Curtis, 18, Columbia, 5' 8", Retreat. John Jones, 19, Sedalia, 6' 1", Interceptor. Bill Kamp, 17, Kansas City, 5' 11", Retreat. Tom Kniest, 19, Jefferson City, 6' 1", Interceptor. Singleton Mason, 18, Kansas City, 6' 2", Counter- Attack. Art Zeitz, 19, Jefferson City, 6', Retreat. DELTA UPSILON BATTERY Harry Scolar, 18, Newark, N. J., 5' 10", Retreat. George Hamilton, 19, Newark, N. J., 5' 6", Counter-Attack. Jack Seeler, 18, St. Louis, 5' 10", Retreat. "Her mother must have been a Kappa." ALPHA SIGMA PHI BATTERY Clarence Becker, 19, St. Louis, 5' 11", Counter- Attack. Bob Costello, 18, St. Louis, 5' 10", Pursuit. Elmer Haast, 18, St. Louis, 6', Sleek. Jack Newman, 19, Denver, Colo., 5' 11", Counter- Attack. Herb Waeckerle, 18, St. Louis, 5' 8", Retreat. KAPPA ALPHA BATTERY Howard Bagby, 18, Aurora, Ill., 6', Pursuit. Buck Buchanan, 18, Perry, 5' 41/", Retreat. Warren Francis, 19, Kansas City, 5' 10", Counter- Attack. Gene Mitchell, 20, Jefferson City, 6', Counter- Attack. Ed Lansing, 18, Columbia, 5' 11", Retreat. Maurice Fore, 19, Albany, 5' 7", Interceptor. Lee Ross, 19, Jefferson City, 6', Interceptor. Doug Pidgeon, 18, Manhasset, N. Y., 5' 10", Pur- suit. (Continued on page 14.) 13 Howitzers-Cont. (Continued from page 13.) Perry Wilson, 19, Jefferson City, 5' 111/", Count- er-Attack. Ben Cowan, 20, Richmond, 5' 9", Counter-Attack. Ray Webster, 17, St. Louis, 5' 11", Retreat. Dick Dolby, 18, Eldon, 6' 1", Pursuit. Bill Reppell, 20, University City, 5' 9", Retreat. Rocky Capehart, 18, Holland, 5' 8", Pursuit. Harry Falter, 19, Columbia, 5' 11", Counter- Attack. PHI KAPPA PSI BATTERY Arthur Stockdale, 18, Larchmont, N. Y., 5', Sleek. Al Ragan, 21, Kansas City, 6' 21/2", Counter- Attack. Don Johnson, 18, Independence, 6', Sleek. John Imhoff, 19, Mansfield, Ohio, 5' 91/2", Sleek. George Newton, 18, Kansas City, 5' 10", Retreat. Marsh Lammer, 18, St. Petersburg, 5' 91/", Counter-Attack. Norman Erickson, 19, Bloomfield, N. J., 5' 11", Sleek. Jerry Wiemokly, 18, Great Neck, N. Y., 5' 91/", Retreat. Harry Carey, 19, Ithaca, N. Y., 5' 10", Pursuit. Ed Flynn, 20, Kansas City, 5' 8", Counter-Attack. Dutch Wyatt, 20, Charleston, 5' 9", Counter- Attack. "Ooh, pardon me, but you look just like Margie." ALPHA TAU OMEGA BATTERY Eddie Bredenberg, 18, Columbia, 5' 6", Sleek. Bob Semple, 18, St. Louis, 6', Pursuit. Jack Scammon, 16, Roche Port, 5' 7", Counter- Attack. Milton Klein, 17, Clayton, 5' 111/2", Counter- Attack. Bob Ferguson, 20, Odessa, 5' 7", Counter-Attack. Burton Bakke, 19, El Reno, 6' 2", Interceptor. Tom Birchfield, 18, Kansas City, 6', Interceptor. David Young, 19, Roche Port, 5' 81", Retreat. ALPHA GAMMA SIGMA BATTERY Dale Bender, 21, New Hampton, 5' 61/2", Counter- Attack. Vergil Crowley, 19, Eldorado Springs, 5' 71/", Retreat. Milton Engle, Jr., 20, Sheridan, 5' 71"/, Inter- ceptor. Victor Ousley, 16, Brunswick, 5' 11", Retreat. SIGMA PHI EPSILON BATTERY Warren Evans, 18, New York, N. Y., 5' 9", Pur- suit. Paul Halton, 17, Hot Springs, R. I., 5' 91/2", Pursuit. Cliff Fitzgerald, 21, St. Louis, 6', Counter-Attack. Myron Henderson, 17, Coffeyville, Kan., 5' 10", Retreat. Myron Meyer, 20, Newton, Iowa, 5' 7", Retreat. Hudson Talbott, 19, Kansas City, 5' 10", Pursuit. PI KAPPA ALPHA BATTERY William Bluhm, 20, Holden, 5' 91/2", Interceptor. William Davidson, 21, Jefferson City, 5' 91/2", Pursuit. Charles Davis, 19, Charleston, 5' 6", Pursuit. Gordon Geers, 18, St. Louis, 5' 81/", Pursuit. Roy Geers, 18, St. Louis, 5' 81/2", Pursuit. Harvey Euge, 21, St. Louis, 6', Counter-Attack. Sonny Harvis, 17, Clearwater, Fla., 5' 81/2", Counter-Attack. Alan Holtz, 19, St. Louis, 6' 2", Pursuit. Bob Holliway, 21, Jefferson City, 6' 1", Inter- ceptor. Dick Johnson, 17, Kansas City, 6', Retreat. Bill Kern, 19, Kirkwood, 6' 2/2", Counter-Attack. J. T. Miles, 20, Columbia, 5' 10", Retreat. Bob Mueller, 19, Columbia, 5' 10", Retreat. Stanford Mieburg, 19, Wright City, 5' 10", Count- er-Attack. Robert Schatz, 18, St. Louis, 6' 2", Retreat. Don Swanson, 17, Minneapolis, Minn., 6', Inter- ceptor. Ray Wagner, 18, St. Louis, 5' 11", Retreat. PHI SIGMA DELTA BATTERY Herbert Schwartz, 18, Kansas City, 5' 7", Pursuit. (Continued on page 16.) Revenge By Charles Barnard His felt hat cast a hiding shadow over an unshaven face, yet it didn't conceal a strong jaw, and bitter, snarling mouth. With a snap he threw the newspaper to the floor and looked over at the blond girl sprawled sensuously on the nearby bed. There was an almost metallic harshness to his voice like hail on a tin roof. "Well, that makes me it, don't it, Sal? That makes me top man - toughest of the tough guys. I'm a big timer now, Sal-Public Enemy Number One." Sal rolled over languidly and look- ed at him. Her candid blue eyes were cold; her tone throaty and suggestive. It well fitted her gaudy cheapness. "I can't figure you, Vicky. Some- times I think you like the reputa- tion and the publicity better than the dough you're makin'! Some- times I think it's headlines you're robbin'-not banks. Oh sure, you're Public Enemy Number One now, but right down inside, Vicky, you're no gangster. Not like the guys you learned from-Barrow and Floyd." She mentioned these names with a sort of reverence that disclosed crime as her business. "Those were guys who were born to their trade-you weren't. You're only tryin' to be a gangster - tryin' to imitate every big shot that ever lived; and now you've tried so hard that you're tops." He titled back in his chair and clasped his hands behind his head. A trace of smile softened the froz- en mouth. "You're a smart girl, Sal. That's why I like you. You figure things right, and you play your hunches. For four years now. ever since I picked you up in that honky tonk in Omaha you've been tryin' to dope me out. You've found out all the police blotters will tell you, but they could never tell the whole story. There's only one guy that knows it, and that guy is me." He pulled a pack of cigarettes from his shirt pocket and deftly popped one between his lips. For a long minute he pondered the smoke as it eddied up into the lamp light. Sal watched him attentively. "You might have guessed that there was a dame in it, Sal. We'd gone together for a couple of years. I was nuts about her; would have done anything for her-anything she asked, but that was the trouble -she never asked. I know now that she couldn't have been in love with me, or she never would have done what she did." The bitter twist re- turned to his lips. He paused - listening. Then, cat-like, he step- ped to the door of the tourist cabin and peered through the curtained window. The darkness without gave him no assurances; he laid his .45 automatic on the table and sat down. Sal lighted a cigarette and looked aimlessly at the ceiling. "Got the jitters, haven't you, Vicky? Nobody's goin' to get you up here. That trail is cold!" "Cold hell!" His eyes snapped like sparks from an emery wheel. It won't be cold when they find that teller, and what's more it's still Sherman on my trail." He thumbed the safety catch of the automatic on and off. Then, as if from anoth- er world he muttered, "Sherman-- the snake. He's her husband now, and poisoning her mind every day against me; swearing he'll get me with his own hands." With this Sal got up and came over to him, sat on the floor at his feet, and cushioned her head on his knees. "The world has hurt you, hasn't it Vicky? It's made you what you are. It's made you do the things you've done." He looked down at her, and there was anger in his eyes. "You've been reading those God-damned books again, Sal. I don't want any excuses made for me. I don't want any pity. I'm what I've made my- self: a robber and a killer. My right is my might. When the chamb- er of this gun is empty, my right is gone. It's just that simple." Sal looked up at him with big eyes. She didn't look like the girl who'd fed bullets to a "Tommy" gun, or who had driven the coupe at ninety miles an hour with the police after her. She didn't look quite capable of blowing a big hole in a cop's forehead with a forty- five slug, or of assisting in crack- ing a safe, but she'd done all these things for the man she loved. She looked up at him now and asked him to go on with his story. He did. "It was when we were at the University that the whole thing happened. I was going with Penny, and Sherman was my buddy, like he'd been ever since we were kids -since we could remember, in fact. Even then he was going to be a copper. When he got to college, he called himself a criminology major, and went around doing all the apple polishing that he could. Something had got into him - changed him somehow. It changed him in a way I couldn't under- stand or like." There was a distant, reminiscent look in Vicky's eyes as he went on. His voice was just a little thick. "I didn't call myself a major in anything unless it was sports. He used to kid me about it, and call me 'All-American Vicky.' I know now that I was an All-American sucker! He stole her away from me right under my nose. I remem- ber the day of the Dartmouth game when I asked him to take Penny. He grinned and said he'd be glad to. I didn't know how glad-'cause, you see, me and him was still bud- dies as far as I went." "Well, when I got out there, I showed off. I played 'way over my head. All I could think of was Penny up there in the stands- watching me. I kicked and ran and passed and tackled with all my might. We beat Dartmouth, and I was one of the heroes, but Penny wasn't there when I came off the field, nor was he. Someone said that they had left at the end of the half--- " "It was a long walk to the dress- ing room. and beating Dartmouth (Continued on page 32.) 15 Howitzers-Cont. (Continued from page 14.) Michael Trachtenberg, 19, New York, N. Y., 5' 11", Interceptor. Irvin Glazer, 18, St. Louis, 6' 2", Pursuit. Bill Kram, 17, St. Louis, 5' 9", Counter-Attack. Sid Carr, 17, Kansas City, 5' 4", Interceptor. Gregory Rose, 17, Mt. Vernon, N. Y., 5' 101/2", Retreat. ZETA BETA TAU BATTERY Walter Naken, 17, Chicago, Ill., 5' 81/2", Inter- ceptor. Steve White, 20, Kansas City, 5' 101/", Inter- ceptor. Bill Wasserkrug, 20, St. Joseph, 5' 9", Sleek. Eddie Bramson, 19, Kansas City, 5' 11", Counter- Attack. Bob Schwartz, 17, St. Louis, 5' 10", Interceptor. Bud Finkelstein, 17, Chicago, Ill., 5' 91/2", Pur- suit. Harold Robiner, 18, St. Louis, 5' 101/2", Counter- Attack. Gene Juda, 18, St. Joseph, 5' 11", Pursuit. Leo Spector, 17, Kansas City, 5' 7", Pursuit. SIGMA ALPHA EPSILON BATTERY Milton Bruce, 20, Miami, Fla., 6' 1", Interceptor. Norval Wright, 19, Fort Thomas, Ky., 6' 1", Retreat. Don Forslund, 18, Sioux Falls, S. D., 6' 1", Pur- suit. Don Dickson, 18, Washington, 5' 9", Retreat. Jack Westfall, 18, St. Louis, 5' 8", Counter-Attack. Sam Williams, 18, Grandview, 5' 9", Interceptor. Jack Witherspoon, 19, Kansas City, 5' 11", Re- treat. Bill Ramsey, 18, Des Moines, la., 6' 1", Counter- Attack. Joe Ellis, 17, Pleasanton, Kan., 5' 9", Interceptor. SIGMA CHI BATTERY Dick Yanofsky, 17, Kansas City, 6', Interceptor. Harry Fair, 20, Trenton, 6', Pursuit. J. B. Jeffress, 18, Popular Bluff, 6', Sleek. Don Fitzgerald, 18, Kansas City, 6', Interceptor. Ed Carroll, 17, Kansas City, 5' 11", Counter- Attack. Bill Bartow, 17, Brunswick, 6', Counter-Attack. Jay Robertson, 18, Kansas City, 5' 10", Inter- ceptor. Ed Harbordt, 19, Kansas City, 5' 10", Retreat. Sam See, 19, Kansas City, 6' 1", Counter-Attack. Owen Langen, 18, Fergus Falls, Minn., 5' 10", Counter-Attack. Tyke Smith, 19, Boonville, 6', Pursuit. Sid McAllister, 18, Champaigne, Ill., 6', Counter- Attack. 16 PHI DELTA THETA BATTERY Julian DeVoy, 17, Brookfield, 5' 9", Interceptor. Jim Brown, 19, Maysville, 5' 8", Counter-Attack. Bill Bartholdt, 20, Kansas City, 5' 11", Counter- Attack. Bob Brady, 18, Cape Girardeau, 5' 8", Retreat. Sam Cook, 19, Jefferson City, 6' 1", Pursuit. Phil Dallmeyer, 18, Jefferson City, 6', Interceptor. Bob Pfeffer, 18, Webster Groves, 5' 8", Inter- ceptor. John Smith, 17, Dallas, Tex., 5' 9", Pursuit. Bill Tipton, 19, Jefferson City, 6', Counter-Attack. Glaneer Tenkhoff, 20, Cape Girardeau, 5' 11", Retreat. Victor Drumm, 18, Columbia, 6', Pursuit. Don Hammaker, 20, Columbia, 5' 10", Inter- ceptor. Bill Reagan, 18, Columbia, 5' 7", Counter-Attack. ALPHA GAMMA RHO BATTERY David Archer, 18, Mountain Grove, 6' 1", Counter- Attack. Lyle Fitzgerald, 18, Hamilton, 5' 11", Interceptor. Keith Segars, 18, Waco, 5' 8", Interceptor. Kenneth Brown, 18, Stahl, 6' 1", Counter-Attack. Wayne Schelin, 20, Verona, 6', Counter-Attack. Jimmy Kiesler, 18, Augusta, 5' 8", Interceptor. Bob Arlcox, 19, Moberly, 6', Pursuit. Bob Talbert, 17, Kennett, 6', Interceptor. John Cupps, 18, Granby, 6' 1", Pursuit. Bob Heins, 18, Kidder, 6' 1", Pursuit. Gaylor Thomas, 20, Granby, 5' 10", Pursuit. Ray Falloons, 20, Bourbon, 5' 8", Counter-Attack. Lowell Inman, 20, Willard, 6' 1", Counter- Attack. Richard Burke, 20, Jackson, 6' 1", Pursuit. Wayne Nibbelink, 20, Columbia, 6', Interceptor. Ralph Robertson, 20, Springfield, 6' 1", Pursuit. LAMBDA CHI ALPHA BATTERY Walter Kagel, 17, Santa Fe., N. M., 6' 1/2", Re- treat. James Carl, 18, Kansas City, 5' 6", Counter-Attack. Robert Hitchens, 21, New York, N. Y., 6', Retreat. Louis Glouser, Jr., 18, St. Louis, 6' 1", Counter- Attack. Kenneth Mehl, 20, St. Louis, 5' 91", Counter- Attack. James Walker, Jr., 22, Kansas City, 5' 101/2", Re- treat. Stanley Schultz, 19, Columbia, 6' 2", Pursuit. FARMHOUSE BATTERY Hal Leazen, 17, Mount Moriah, 5' 11", Counter- Attack. Virgil LaRue, 19, Dexter, 5' 11", Counter-Attack. Robert Tompkins, 19, Huntington, 5' 11", Inter- ceptor. (Continued on page 26.) TELEPHONE CONVERSATION "Hello." "Hello." "Who's speaking, please?" "Watt." "What's your name?" "Watt's my name." "Yeah, what's your name?" "My name is John Watt." "John what?" "Yes." "I'll he around to see you this afternoon." "Is this Jones?" "No. I'm Knott." "Will you tell me your name then ?" "Will Knott." "Why not?" "My name is Knott." "Not what?" Operator (butting in): "Oh, hang up!" The scotchman helped his friend out with his income tax by going to live with him as a dependent. * He: Are you adverse to necking parties ? She: Who are the parties? * "Did she make you feel at home?" "No, she made me wish I was." Sir Walter Raleigh Tobacco Kaywoodie Company .:Ile: When does a look become a classic? He: When people who haven't read it begin to say they have. A lobster was flirting with an oyster. Another ladv oyster asked her what happened. "'Well." replied the first oyster, "first lie put his claws around me. Then he kissed me and then, Heav- ens. my pearls!" "1 dlon' feel right about Jim Smith," Farmer Dumm said to his wife. "He's just invited me to he a pallbearer again. He invited me to be a pallbearer when Mame, his first wife died, an' he invited me again when Susie, his second wife died. An' now his third wife's died and he's invited me again. It don't seem right for me to accept all them favors an' not to do him an)." A Chi naman's description of piano playing: "Them box, you fight him in the teeth, he cry." The height of diplomacy: To say, on surprising a lady in a bathtub, "I beg your pardon, sir." As to the foolish questioners, there is a story of a man who had a scar on his forehead. When asked how lie got it, he said that lie bit himself. "And iow could youl bite yourself on your forehead?" somebody asked him. "Well," he replied, "I stood on a chair." Nothing helps a girl's popularity like being easy on the aye. Two Germans met in Paris and dis- cussed the city's employment problem. "Have you a good situation?" asked one. "Oh, I have .n excellent job here," was the reply. "I sit on top of the Eiffle Tower and watch for the English to wave the white flag." "And the pay-is it good?" "No," admitted the other. "But it's a job for life." * Roses are red, Violets are blue, Orchids are $2.50. Would dandelions do? 0 Attorney: Are you certain this is the man who stole your car? Plaintiff: I was until this case was heard. Now I'm not sure I ever owned a car. A man returning home in the early hours saw a notice on a factory door. It read: "Please ring the bell for the caretaker." He gave the bell a terrific pull, nearly dragging it from its socket. Shortly a sleepy face appeared. "Are you the caretaker?" asked the man. "Yes," came the reply. "What do you want?" "I just want to know why you can't ring the bell yourself." * Tillie: If I were you, I wouldn't be so forward. Tom: If you were like me, what a time we'd have. * Patient: Now that you know about my marriage to Mabel, there's one thing I want to get off my chest. Doctor: All right, my boy, what is it? Patient: This tattoed heart with the name Lucy on it. * At the Zoo they are needing a gnu, And a man-eating tiger or tnu, A dashing young llama Would add to the ddrama. And so would a gay kangarnu. "Who was the blonde you were out with Wednesday and Thursday?" "She was the brunette I was out with Monday and Tuesday." * Three varsity men were dropped out of school. Now, if they ever show up on the campus, they will be given the had news. * Customer (in garage) : And how much do I owe you for the extra oil? Mechanic: What oil? Customer: The oil you left on the upholstery. He: Those are beautiful clocks on your stockings. She: Yes, and they don't need any hands either. * A young man just out of college sought the advice of a hard-headed business man. "Tell me, please, how I should go about getting a start in business." "Sell your wrist watch and buy an alarm clock," was the laconic reply. She: I'm on my way to the beach. He: I hope you have a pleasant strip. 0 "What did you do with the thou- sand dollars you won attacking the modern mechanical age?" "I bought an automobile." If exercise will eliminate fat, how in the world does a woman get a double chin? * A caddy got a job as a pin-boy in a bowling alley for the winter, but lost his job when the manager began to notice that the balls were missing. Uncle Richard: Well, boys, how are you getting on at school? John: I'm first in arithmetic. Robert: I'm first in spelling. Uncle Richard: Fine! Now, what are you first in, Carlton? Carlton: I'm first on the street when it is time to go home. 0 Visitor: And what's the building over there? A sophomore: (O , that's the green- house. Visitor: I didn't know that the fresh- men had a dormitory all to them- selves. * Young Man (sitting) : Excuse me, madam, you're standing on my feet. Aged Lady (strap hanging): I know it, young man; and if you were a gentleman, you'd be standing on them yourself. "The boss offered me an interest in the business today." "He did!" "Yes; he said that if I didn't take an interest pretty soon, he'd fire me." * "I don't like the way that blonde across the street dresses." "How does she dress?" "In the dark." "The referee for today's game is at the gate with two friends. Shall I pass them in?" inquired the gate- keeper of the coach. "A referee with two frietnds!" gasped the coach. "Sure!" Hi: My father has George Washing- ton's watch. Joe: That's nothing. My father has Adam's apple. Bobby (at the seaside) : When is high tide? Old Salt: 5:55. I've told you a doz- en times; Bobby: I know, but I like to see your whiskers waggle when you say 5:55. "Not Malt, Not Rum, Not Wine, Not Nuts, So Help Me, It's Tobacco!" 6137 No. Meridian St., Indianapolis, Ind. June 27, 1941 Larus & Bro., Richmond, Va. Gentlemen: I'm still a young fellow, or like to think so, and as long as I've smoked, I've smoked a pipe. Life for me has been a continual round of trying dif- ferent tobacco. I've paid as high as six dollars a pound for the stuff. I've had mix- tures made to order. I've smoked tobacco that tasted like honey, that tasted like rum, that tasted like wine, that tasted like maple sugar, that tasted like nuts, that tasted like burning hickory, that tasted like sweet grass. I once smoked a British blend that tasted like somebody's old tweed suit, so help me. But Edgeworth-I can't possibly explain it, but Edgeworth tastes an awful lot like tobacco! l'ossibly it is tobacco and not malt, not apples, not rum, not wine, not something to dis- guise the taste of a product the man- ufacturer is ashamed of. I shouldn't take up your time like this, really. But I long ago promised the first time I found a tobacco I could smoke for a month or more steadily without tongue-bite, throat irritation, dizziness, and at the same time enjoy the flavor every time I lighted the pipe-when I found that kind of tobacco, I was going to write the manufacturer and tell him about it.Thanks forEdgeworth,gentlemen I (Signed) G. T. Fleming Roberts NOTE: Mr. Roberts got acquainted with America's Finest Pipe Tobacco by sending in this coupon for a generous sample tin. ---SEND FOR SAMPLE (At Our Expense)-- LARUS & BRO. CO. 210 So. 22nd St., Richmond, Virginia Please send me, at your expense, a fgn- erous sample of EDGEWORTH Ready- Rubbed, America's Finest Pipe Tobacco. Name (Please print your name and address clearly) Address . --------City or Town ---------------- - State ______________________CP_ Girl: All he talked about was So- crates, Pericles, etc. Roommate: Isn't it strange that men are so fond of wrestling con- tests? "You big bonehead," shouted the construction superintendent to his im- migrant foreman, "I told you to fire that man and you hit him with an axe!" "Vell, boss, dose ax, she have sign, "For Fire Only!" Life Savers FREE! A BOX OF LIFE SAVERS FOR THE BEST WISECRACK! What is the best joke that you heard on the campus this week? Send it to your editor. You may wisecrack yourself into a free prize box of Life Savers! For the best gag submitted each month by one of the stu- dents, there will be a free award of an attractive cello- phane-wrapped assortment of all the Life Saver flavors. Jokes will be judged by the editors of this publication. The right to publish any or all jokes is reserved. Deci- sions of the editors will be final. The winning wisecrack will be published the following month along with the lucky winner's name. Social Worker: Did your husband appreciate the scarf we gave him? Reliefer: Oh, yes, ma'am, it came in most handy. He hung himself with it. * "Now, listen," threatened the tattoo artist, advancing on his delinquent customer, "you pay me what you owe me for that mermaid-on-chest job I did a month ago, or I'll take it out of your hide." THE DICTIONARY WRITER Dearest: You may be certain that I am your lover; specifically, a male person who adores another of the opposite sex. You can be equally certain that I have been faithful to you, having shown, and acting with faith, sincerity, up- rightness, trust, veracity, accuracy and exactness. 1 have spoken to your father, otherwise a male parent; he has said yes, aye, yea-expressing affirmation or consent, as opposed to no. How I hope we may be married soon and take a wonder- ful trip. Together we can look over the beautiful horizon, the apparent junction of the earth and sky, a plane pass- ing through the eyes of the spectator and at right angles to the vertical at any given space. I will clasp you in my arms, the limbs of the human body which extend from the shoulders to the tips of the fingers; also the corresponding limbs of a monkey. Rose, I want to tell you that you are the only woman, an adult female person, sometimes any female person, that I have ever cared for. In closing, I cannot tell you what a tempest, an exten- sive current of air, commonly with rain, hail or snow, is raging in my heart. I remain, always, at all times, continually, constantly during a certain period of time or regularly at stated periods, Your JACK. "You see-it would give people a warmer appreciation of your bus lines-and thus promote more travel." COMIC DICTIONARY: A-C Acquaintance-(1) A person whom we know well enough to borrow from, but not well enough to lend to. (2) A degree of friendship called slight when its object is poor or obscure, and intimate when he is rich or famous. Actor-A man who tries to be every- thing but himself. Admiration-Our polite recognition of another's resemblance to our- selves. Adult-A person who has stopped growing at both ends and started growing in the middle. Advertising-Makes you think you've longed all your life for something you never heard of before. Advice-The one thing which it is "more blessed to give than receive." After-dinner Speaking - An occupa- tion monopolized by men - women can't wait that long. Alimony-(1) When two people make a mistake and one of them con- tinues to pay for it. (2) Man's cash surrender value. Alliance-In international politics, the union of two thieves who have their hands so deeply inserted in each other's pockets that they can- not separately plunder a third. Athlete-A dignified bunch of muscles, unable to split the wood or sift the ashes. Auto Show- Finance company's pre- view. Average Man - One who thinks he isn't. Bachelor-A selfish, callous, unde- serving man who has cheated some worthy woman out of a divorce. Bank-An institution where you can borrow money if you present suffi- cient evidence to show that you don't need it. Bargain Sale - Where a woman can ruin one dress while she buys an- other. Bathing Suit-A coat of tan with a zipper. Bigot - One who is obstinately and zealously attached to an opinion that you do not entertain. Bore-One who insists upon talking about himself when you want to talk about yourself. Budget-A method of worrying before you spend instead of afterwards. Business Man-One who talks golf all morning at the office and business all afternoon on the links. Childish Game - One at which your girl beats you. Chorus Girl-One who never worries about getting ahead because she doesn't need one. Civilized Nation-One that is horri- fied by the civilized nations. Committee-A body that keeps min- utes and wastes hours. Committee of Five-Consists of a man who does the work, three others to pat him on the back, and one to bring in a minority report. Courtship-The period during which the girl decides whether she can do any better. Creditor-A man who has a better memory than a debtor. Criminal-One who gets caught. "Get your programs! Names and salaries of all the players." BOX OFFICE George was probably the best man they had ever had selling tickets. No other ticket seller had ever been so successful as George in selling the customers exactly the opposite of what they had asked for, and with so few complaints. It was a pleasure to watch George work. "I want six tickets for Satur- day's game," the fellow at the box- office window told George. George looked at his rack. He only had about ten tickets left, all behind the goal post. "I've got six right be- hind the goal post," George answered, shoving the tickets at the fellow at the same time. "But, behind the goal post is no good," protested the customer. "I want something near the fifty-yard line." "Fifty-yard line?" asked George in an astonished manner. "The fifty-yard line is a silly spectator's superstition. The only place to really see a foot- ball game is from behind the goal posts. All the coaches sit there. Why, let me tell you-," and George con- vinced him. I know you're very proud of it, but I don't think the sergeant is going to like it." "I'll take them," the fellow told George. "And thanks for steering me right on the best location. Now let's have six more behind the goal post for next Saturday's game." George looked at the ticket rack. The game was a complete sell-out ex- cept for twenty tickets returned by a speculator. "Here's six wonderful tickets. right on the fifty-yard line," George said. "Fifty-yard line," the customer pro- tested, "but you've just finished tell- ing me that was the worst place you can see a football game from." "Remember this, fellow," George said, putting the tickets in the custom- er's pocket, "No two games are alike." * Some day there is going to be an investigator appointed to investigate the investigation of an investigating committee appointed to investigate the investigators of an investigation. * Little Willie learned to swear Sulphur smoke was in the air. Willie's mother heard him bray such Things as folks don't often say much. Mother then in accents terser Called papa to whip the curser. But little Willie was in luck For dear papa, he drove a truck. * "Now, there's nothing in this world too difficult to overcome." "Have you ever tried squeezing shaving cream back into the tube?" "Can't you let people forget you made the varsity?" ANNA Anna says she doesn't pet, but analyze. I know because I was out with Anna and this is what happened: "Annual pet, won't you?" I asked. Andrew a little closer to me. "Ani- mus not pet," she sighed. "Why Anna!" I cried, "my room- mate told me anvil pet." Anaglyph me a haughty look. "An- ile not do it, so there!" she flatly declared. But I thought anode it to me. "Ann- ulet me have just one kiss," I pleaded. Anise fell, and she blushed. "Annulose nothing," I insisted. "But Anaconda scared," she whis- pered. "Kiss meander!" I commanded masterfully. "Well, all right. Annul let you have one kiss." And animate good her promise. I'm sure I won't banana from my calling list because Anna says she doesn't pet, but analyze! "She sticks to the football team; she can't remember names!" THE OBVIOUS Jack, the newly elected captain of the football team, was walking along the deserted street when he spied a rival for his tackle position walking along in the same direction. "He must be going to see the coach, too," Jack mused. "If he's going to use a lot of soft soap, he might get my position. But then, I'm the better player, so that's out. But nobody else lives out this way but the coach, so he must be going to see him. If he can't outplay me, why should he waste time walking to see the coach? It can't be on football matters so it must be for personal reasons . ." "Well, the coach has a marriage- able daughter, so maybe he's going to see her. But the coach suspects any football player courting his daughter, unless he'd prove his sincerity by becoming engaged to her right away . so I guess they're engaged. Yes, that must be it. I'll test it." Jack walked up behind his rival, tapped him on the shoulder and said, "Congratulations on your engagement to the coach's daughter." "Thanks," the surprised rival acknowledged. "But how did you find out about it?" "How?" shrugged Jack. "It's per- fectly obvious." CENSORED LITERATURE "I don't care to argue about it, young man. You can't bring that sort of reading into this place!" "Oh, don't be so narrow-minded! This won't hurt anyone." "It can't help but do harm. It's a demoralizing influence. All that I've tried to build up will be torn down if that sort of stuff is around where our young women can see it." "Say, you're just intolerant and bigoted and unreasonable! Even a child could read these things and . ." "You're just wasting your time. My mind is made up and I'm not going to change it. I know the thoughts that would be inspired in the minds of the young people around here by those books, and many of them probably could not resist the temptations. You simply cannot bring any more of those style magazines into this nudist colony!" 'They're tossing a coin to see who carries the balL" GIRLS I NO LONGER DATE. Joan was beautiful but she was too fond of compli. ments. In fact she fished for them so much, she continually stood with bated breath. Inez I couldn't afford. She was an alchemist. Every- time I went out with her, my silver turned to copper. Mary Lou was cute. The definition of "cute" is kissable. Mary Lou was cute, but insincere. Her heart had been broken once, and ever since she had been disturbing the pieces. Lana professed to love the great outdoors, but the only wild game she knew anything about was post office. Norma was just plain dumb. She thought a meat shop was a rendezvous. But Carole. There was a girl! What wonderful mem- ories I have of Carole! She really was a great girl, and above all, she understood me. I loved her and she loved me, and we seemed ideally matched. Undoubtedly we would have been married, had it not been for the fact that her husband wouldn't agree to a divorce. * Widower: I lost her in a fire. Her dress caught- Friend: Burned alive? Widower: No, luckily the firemen arrived in time. She was drowned. "Can you tell me the name of the dean?" "No; I'm just a football player here!" * "Phyllis, this is my birthday." "Congratulations, Mabel, how old aren't you?" Brenda: Oh, he's so romantic. When he addresses me, he always calls me "Fair Lady." Cobina: Force of habit, my dear. He's a street-car conductor. Old Man (in police station): Inspector, I found the wallet I reported stolen last week in my other pants. Inspector: Too late. We caught the thief yesterday. "It's those elephant cars again." Howitzers-Cont. (Continued from page 16.) KAPPA SIGMA BATTERY Elmer Keitel, 20, Clayton, 5' 7", Interceptor. A. W. Booker, 19, University City, 5' 10", Sleek. Tom Paro, 18, Belleville, Ill, 6' 21", Interceptor. Gwynne Shields, 21, St. Louis, 5' 101", Counter- Attack. Bill Stanburry, 18, Kansas City, 5' 9%", Sleek. Francis Foster, 18, Kansas City, 5' 8", Counter. Attack. Paul Johnson, 17, Kansas City, 5' 6", Pursuit. Frank Adams, 18, Atherton, 5' 11", Retreat. Frank Imboden, 18, Clayton, 6', Pursuit Jim Miller, 18, Clayton, 6', Interceptor. Howard Springer, 18, Springfield, 5' 10%", Counter-Attack. Fred Bouldin, 19, Kansas City, 5' 11%", Counter Attack. DELTA TAU DELTA BATTERY George Reed, 18, Bogota, N. J., 5' 10", Sleek. Thomas Parkin, 17, Fredericktown, 5' 8", Pursuit. Hugh Court, 17, Army Brat, 6' 2", Pursuit. Jim Beatty, 18, Quincy, Ill., 5' 10", Counter- Attack. John Craig, 20, Paola, Kan., 5' 11', Counter- Attack. SIGMA ALPHA MU BATTERY Alvin Blond, 18, Kansas City, 6', Pursuit. Henry Cohn, Jr., 19, University City, 5' 10", Interceptor. Al Silverman, 19, University City, 5' 101/%", Count- er-Attack. Chester Flegeb, 19, St. Louis, 5' 8", Retreat. Jerry Hirsch, 18, University City, 5' 11", Inter- ceptor. Heavy Tanks DELTA UPSILON DIVISION Joe Bonney, 18, Kansas City, 5' 11", Interceptor. Maurice Wade, 20, Mountain Grove, 5' 10", Re- treat. ALPHA SIGMA PHI DIVISION Dick Keller, 21, St. Louis, 5' 9Y2", Retreat. Lee Milla, 20, St. Louis, 5' 9", Retreat. 26 Jack Morton, 19, East St Louis, Ill., 6', Inter- ceptor. Dick Weaver, 20, St. Joseph, 6' 1", Retreat SIGMA NU DIVISION Ben Bristow, 18, Princeton,6' 1", Pursuit. Frank Becker, 17, Cameron, 6', Interceptor. John Sheppard, Butler, 6' 11/", Destroyer. PHI GAMMA DELTA DIVISION Dru Cargill, 20, Gates Mills, Ohio, 6', Interceptor. Jack Robertson, 19, Columbia, 5' 7", Couter- Attack. KAPPA ALPHA DIVISION Chuck Curtin, 19, Chicago, Ill., 6', Interceptor. Spider Davis, 19, West Plains, 6' 2%", Pursuit. Bill Barnes, 19, Liberty, 6' 3", Counter-Attack. ALPHA TAU OMEGA DIVISION Lynn Teague, 20, Springfield, 5' 11", Counter- Attack. Quentin Bakke, 21, El Reno, Okla, 6' 2", Sleek. Creel Dixon, 19, Kirksville, 6', Counter-Attack Pat Greve, 20, Kirkwood, 6', Counter-Attack. KAPPA SIGMA DIVISION Ed Rappe' 19, St Louis, 5' 11", Sleek. Ken Duebelbeis, 18, St Louis, 5' 8%", Retreat. Jimmy Darr, 19, Chillicothe, 6', Sleek. DELTA TAU DELTA DIVISION Howard Morris, 19, Sulphur Springs, 5' 11%", Pursuit. Bert Kullerstrand, 19, Chicago, Ill., 5' 9", Count- er-Attack. ALPHA GAMMA SIGMA DIVISION Logan Davis, 20, Holcomb, 5' 8", Counter-Attack. Harold Hammer, Jr, 19, Asbury, 5' 10", Inter- ceptor. C. J. McCormick, 19, Holland, 5' 8", Interceptor. (Continued n page 28.) Heavy Tanks--Cont. (Continued from page 26.) SIGMA PHI EPSILON DIVISION Harry Bressler, 17, West Englewood, N. J., 5' 6", Retreat. Vernon Bowen, 18, Marceline, 6' 2", Retreat. John Lacometti, 17, St. Louis, 5' 10", Retreat. Edward McVeigh, 21, Jackson, Mich., 5' 6", Inter- ceptor. PI KAPPA ALPHA DIVISION Bob Baebler, 17, St. Louis, 5' 91/2", Interceptor. Bartholomew Picasso, 19, Creve Coeur, 5' 8", Pur- suit. BETA THETA PI DIVISION Ben Dobyns, 18, Shelbina, 6', Interceptor. Pete Ritchey, 19, St. Joseph, 5' 9", Interceptor. Ralph Hook, 18, Lee's Summit, 5' 10", Sleek. Jerry Kircher, 17, St. Louis, 6' 2", Retreat. ACACIA DIVISION Roy Shelley, 20, Kansas City, 6' 7", Sleek. SIGMA CHI DIVISION Owen McCall, 19, Gibson City, Ill., 5' 101/", Interceptor. Joe Muser, 19, Danville, Ill., 5' 11", Interceptor. SIGMA ALPHA EPSILON DIVISION Gene Rone, 19, Portageville, 6' 11/2", Sleek. Jack Ferguson, 17, Kansas City, 5' 10", Retreat. LAMBDA CHI ALPHA DIVISION George Schofield, 19, Quincy, Ill., 5' 9", Counter- Attack. Oscar Langenbeck, 19, Manchester, 6' 1", Pursuit. FARMHOUSE DIVISION Bob Van Meter, 20, Rock Port, 5' 9", Interceptor. PHI DELTA THETA DIVISION Sandy Gordon, 18, Oak Park, Ill., 5' 10", Pursuit. George Willson, 19, St. Louis, 6' 2", Pursuit. Bob Taylor, 19, Jefferson City, 6', Retreat. ALPHA GAMMA RHO DIVISION George Johnson, 18, Salisbury, 5' 11", Pursuit. Bob Sibbet, 19, Spickard, 5' 11", Pursuit. Bill Claxton, 21, Parkville, 5' 8", Counter-Attack. PHI SIGMA DELTA DIVISION Leonard Tzinberg, 19, St. Louis, 5' 9", Counter- Attack. Lou Sax, 18, Chicago, Ill., 5' 8", Interceptor. ZETA BETA TAU DIVISION Butch Harris, 20, Toledo, Ohio, 5' 9", Counter- Attack. Paul Rosenberg, 17, Kansas City, 5' 10", Inter- ceptor. 28 SIGMA ALPHA MU DIVISION Arnold Powell, 18, Clayton, 6' 11/2", Counter- Attack. Myron Isserman, 18, Newark, N. J., 6', Counter- Attack. Jerry Wolfsfeld, 17, St. Louis, 6' 3", Counter- Attack. Gas Masks SIGMA NU BRIGADE Dan Carlisle, 17, Princeton, 5' 10", Pursuit Allen White, 17, Moberly, 5' 8", Counter-Attack Robert Hebeler, 18, Tulsa, Okla., 5' 10", Retreat Horace McKim, 17, Fort Worth, Tex., 5' 8", Retreat James Van Wagner, 20, Sedalia, 6', Retreat PHI GAMMA DELTA BRIGADE Bob Butterworth, 18, Dayton, O., 5' 9", Interceptor Homer Comfort, 19, Kirkwood, 5' 101/2", Counter- Attack Floyd Mathews, 18, Sikeston, 6', Retreat DELTA UPSILON BRIGADE Herb Gustin, 18, Glen Ellyn, Ill., 5' 101/2", Count- er-Attack ALPHA SIGMA PHI BRIGADE E. L. Aussieker, 21, Normandy, 6' 3", Retreat KAPPA ALPHA BRIGADE F. B. Thomas, 23, Albany, 5' 81/2", Retreat Ray Casey, 18, Brookfield, 5' 10", Counter-Attack Mac Smith, 18, Evanston, Ill., 5' 111/", Retreat PHI PSI BRIGADE Arthur Riedesel, 20, Ogallala, Neb., 5' 6", Retreat Bob Axelson, 19, Lorain, 0., 5' 9", Retreat ALPHA TAU OMEGA BRIGADE Gary Baltis, 21, Kansas City, 5' 11", Retreat Lester Eime, 19, Kirkwood, 5' 11", Retreat KAPPA SIGMA BRIGADE Jack Rothwell, 18, St. Louis, 5' 111/2", Interceptor Joe Pendergast, 18, La Due Village, 6', Interceptor George Elder, 18, Webster Groves, 5' 8", Inter- ceptor Harold Schultz, 19, St. Louis, 6' 1", Interceptor DELTA TAU DELTA BRIGADE Leo Dollar, 18, Coronado, Cal., 6', Counter-Attack Alfred Frederick, 17, Evanston, Ill., 6' 2", Inter- ceptor SIGMA PHI EPSILON BRIGADE James Copening, 20, Iola, Kan., 5' 11", Retreat Max Erringer, 21, New York, N. Y., 5' 91/2", Pursuit Harley Griffin, 20, Tahlequah, Okla., 5' 8", Inter- ceptor ALPHA GAMMA SIGMA BRIGADE James Carter Heitmeyer, 19, Holliday, 6', Retreat Guy Wynne Libbee, 18, Hannibal, 5' 7", Retreat Henry Manson, 19, Brunswick, 6' 2", Retreat Keith Eulinger, 18, Maysville, 5' 8", Retreat James McCrea, 19, Maysville, 5' 8", Retreat John Zurl, 18, Brunswick, 6' 2", Retreat ALPHA GAMMA RHO BRIGADE Arthur Edwards, 18, Bunceton, 5' 7", Interceptor Melvin Gebhardt, 17, Salisbury, 5' 11", Counter- attack Ray Fals, 19, Brunswick, 5' 11", Interceptor BETA THETA PI BRIGADE Bob McDaniel, 17, Battle Creek, Mich., 5'. 8", Interceptor Gail Hood, 21, Joplin, 5' 9", Interceptor Ray Corliss, 20, Piedmont, Calif., 6' 1", Retreat Bill Arney, 18, Princeton, 6', Counter-Attack Henry Spencer, 17, St. Joseph, 5' 9", Interceptor Joe Handley, 20, Kirksville, 5' 7", Pursuit SIGMA ALPHA EPSILON BRIGADE Charlie Walston, 19, Mound City, 5' 9", Inter- ceptor Jack Hensley, 20, Salina, Kan., 5' 8", Retreat Burr Young, 19, Joliet, Ill., 5' 101", Retreat SIGMA CHI BRIGADE Bill Phelan, 18, Clayton, 5' 7", Retreat "Red" Heath, 19, Poplar Bluff, 6', Interceptor Vernon Rucker, 18, Brunswick, 6', Retreat Bob Whiteman, 18, Clayton, 6', Retreat Henry Salisbury, 17, Shreveport, La., 6' 2", Retreat Bob Artz, 18, Clayton, 6' 1", Interceptor Dick Wire, 19, Belleville, Ill., 5' 10", Retreat Bill Waers, 17, Cameron, 5' 9", Counter-Attack FARMHOUSE BRIGADE Billy Pfander, 18, Lamar, 5' 11", Counter-Attack Leo Roby, 19, Lamar, 5' 9", Counter-Attack ZETA BETA TAU BRIGADE Arthur Brand, 18, Kansas City, 6', Counter-Attack Paul Byers, 17, Kansas City, 5' 10", Interceptor Jordon Tark, 18, Wilmett, Ill., 5' 61/", Interceptor PHI SIGMA DELTA BRIGADE Charlie Goldstein, 19, St. Louis, 5' 7", Counter- Attack Ely Schwartz, 17, Rolla, 5' 912", Interceptor Mary Dorfman, 18, Kansas City, 5' 61/", Count- er-Attack LAMBDA CHI ALPHA BRIGADE Dave F. Cahill, 21, Kansas City, 6' 1/2", Retreat Brice Williams, 20, Atlantic, Ia., 5' 9", Retreat SIGMA ALPHA MU BRIGADE Bill Goldstein, 19, Newark, N. J., 6' 1", Retreat Bob Gordon, 18, St. Louis, 5' 101/2, Retreat Irving Fudemberg, 18, Toronto, Can., 6', Retreat Syd Huber, 18, University City, 5' 71/2", Retreat Morris Feinberg, 19, Kansas City, 5' 8", Retreat Destroyers SIGMA NU ESCHELON Jim Lowe, 18, Springfield, 6', Counter-Attack. Jack Ross, 17, Salina, Kan., 5' 10", Pursuit. Jack Bennett, 19, Memphis, Tenn., 5' 10", Pursuit. Wally Craig, 18, Webster Groves, 5' 11", Sleek. (Continued on page 31.) McAllister Dress Shop ROUND TOWNER Gather 'round, gates, for the monthly meeting of the biggest society of cats in the state, 4,999 strong (we don't include Dr. Quar- les). We're off again to see what's new on wax, who's doin' what, which, why, and how. Hold on, keeds, we're going out of this world for the swing sensations of the month. Number one tune of the nation and of Old Mizzou, the ditty that millions of sweethearts are dancing and - CENSORED - to . "You And I" . . . . on Victor by Dick Jurgens and his band. The arrangement by the genial Jurgens is just dreamy enough to start co- ed eyes rolling . . . Coming up to the top fast, and both smashing favorites in the danceries of Co- lumbia are "I Guess I'll Have to Dream the Rest," in the too-too Glenn Miller version, and "I Don't Want to Set the World on Fire" with Horace Heidt and His Musical Arsonists on the sending end. With fall the pop tunes generally slow down, but among the faster, hip-slinging favorites for October are Erskine Butterfield's snazzy "Choc'lit" in which brass blows out everything not nailed to the floor. Just shows you what Carter's Little You-Know-Whats can do for a trumpet man. Smooth and sophis- ticated and coming up fast is "Bar Babble", by Sonny Dunham and the crew, with that merry old swing in the rhythms. Slower is Dinah Shore's dreamy "Jim", which in the blues of today can't be beaten. Also while in the Dinah Shore section, a sure bet is to let her tell you why "I'm Through With Love." Tommy Dorsey rings the Show- me bell with his smooth arrange- ment of "This Love of Mine". It's a reminiscent tune played in an even tempo; it'll be a big number in the frat house concerts before Ye Old Log Fire. Still ranking high on the list of those energetic tolks is Miller's arrangement of "Chat- tanooga Choo-Choo", which, in an informal survey, was near the top for the jitterbug genuis. Also good for mixing any badly-stirred malts is Jurgen's rendition of "Elmer's Tune". Jurgens swings high and outside this world in his last chorus. In the more serious aspect of jazz, this month has produced two al- bums which are required listening for any student of swing-dom. "The Birth of the Blues" is out by the Chamber Music Society of Lower (Continued on page 36.) Missouri Theatre New Coronado 64GBLER'S Destroyers-Cont. (Continued from page 29.) Tommy Doyle, 20, St. Louis, 5' 11", Interceptor. Bob Fay, 18, Springfield, 5' 8", Interceptor. Wilber Skourup, 20, Burlington, Iowa., 5' 10", Counter-Attack. V. Prewitt, Jr., 18, New York, N. Y., 5' 11", Counter-Attack. John Robling, 19, Des Moines, Iowa., 5' 11", Pur- suit. Ted Imes, 20, Kansas City, 5' 10", Sleek. Les Wind, 22, St. Louis, 5' 11", Pursuit. Bill Austin, 19, Trenton, 5' 11", Pursuit. E. B. Feutz, 17, Mexico, 6', Sleek. Bob Brockman, 18, Columbia, 5' 9", Counter- Attack. PHI GAMMA DELTA ESCHELON Ralph Henderson, 18, St. Joseph, 5' 111/2", Sleek. Lee Houts, 19, Kansas City, 5' 9", Sleek. Joe Houts, 18, Kansas City, 5' 10", Pursuit. Bob Mansur, 19, Jefferson City, 5' 11", Sleek. Ted Schultz, 19, Jefferson City, 6' 1", Counter- Attack. John Stapler, 20, Sterling, Ill., 6' 1", Pursuit. Earl Stark, 19, St. Joseph, 6' 2", Counter-Attack. KAPPA ALPHA ESCHELON Harold Hudson, 17, Kansas City, 6', Sleek. Powell Adams, 18, Jefferson City, 6' 2", Pursuit. Harold Salfen, 21, O'Fallon, 6', Pursuit. Jerry William, 19, Mansfield, 5' 11", Pursuit. DELTA UPSILON ESCHELON Clell Wade, 18, Mountain Grove, 5' 11", Pursuit. Stevin Eifred, 21, Chicago, Ill., 6', Sleek. ALPHA SIGMA PIII ESCHELON Jack Bissell, 19, St. Louis, 5' 10", Interceptor. Chris Krull, 19, St Louis, 5' 11", Sleek. PHI KAPPA PSI ESCHELON Dick Johnson, 18, Independence, 6' 1", Sleek. Bud Tharp, 18, Washington, D. C., 6' 2", Pursuit. Bob Woodburn, 17, Kansas City, 6' 4", Pursuit. Bob Scott, 19, Kansas City, 6' 11", Pursuit. Dave Owen, 19, Kansas City, 5' 8", Pursuit. Eddie Neer, 18, Brookfield, 5' 81", Pursuit. Paul Johnson, 20, Kansas City, 5' 11", Interceptor. Omar Akins, 21, Kansas City, 6', Sleek. ALPHA TAU OMEGA ESCHELON Chuck McKay, 17, Kansas City, 5' 9", Sleek. Bill Patterson, 18, St. Louis, 5' 10", Pursuit. Jack Speakman, 19, Kansas City, 5' 7", Inter- ceptor. Walter Aronson, Jr., 18, Kansas City, 6', Pursuit. Bill Weinischke, 18, University City, 5' 6", Pur- suit. Sonny Boullt, 20, Kansas City, 6', Interceptor. ALPHA GAMMA SIGMA ESCHELON Harold Biellier, 20, Bois D'Arc, 5' 1012", Sleek. Dick Chapple, 20, Keytesville, 5' 71/2", Pursuit. Raymond Kimmel, 20, Joplin, 6', Counter-Attack. Jack McFerron, 19, Asbury, 5' 6", Interceptor. James Robertson, 20, Caruthersville, 5' 10", Sleek. PI KAPPA ALPHA ESCHELON Arnold Brody, 18, Columbia, 6', Counter-Attack. Jack Newcombe, 20, Burlington, Vt, 5' 11", Pur- suit. Erwin Gustafson, 18, St. Louis, 5' 11 ", Sleek. Joseph Garvey, 18, St. Louis, 5' 9%", Interceptor. (Continued on page 33.) HIGBEE & HOCKADAY REVENGE-CONT. somehow didn't seem to mean much after all." Sal looked up into his face, and from her eyes you could see that his hurt was her hurt, but she knew better than to say, "I'm sorry". Vicky laid his hand on her head and went on. "We had a date that night, but when I went over to the sorority house she wasn't ready-nor did she intend to be. She came down- stairs in lounging pajamas and told me it was all over. 'Harry', she said, 'you think you're tough. You think that you can treat me just as you please because you've got that letter on your sweater and a gold football dangling from your watch chain. Well, you can't! You're just small fry, Harry, and won't ever be anything else!" Then she turned and went back upstairs. "Well, Sal, I knew a bunch of pretty good racket men, so I joined up with 'em. It was a year before I ever got my name in headlines, but that day when I read the paper I thought of Penny who must be reading it too, thinking of how she'd driven me to it. 'Now who's small-fry?' I thought as I read. "Then there was when Floyd gave Purvis the slip down in Amarillo. I was in on that job, and the papers spread my mug all over the front pages. 'Now who's not a big shot?' I thought as I stared through our riddled windshield. "So that's the way it's been, Sal, for four years now. I've been try- ing to do two things: hurt her conscience, and show her that I could lick Sherman. I always could -ever since we were kids." The half wistful, retrospective look re- turned to his eyes. Sal leaned back from him. She was quite serious, and her words were kind. "Vicky, I'm not the one to be doin' the preachin', but why in God's name didn't you get your revenge in some other way? Why didn't you get it by being a great success at something? You cou'd have done it, Vicky-you've got the brains-you've got what it takes!" His nostrils distended, and his black eyes were like smoldering anthracite. "Jesus, Sal! Can't you see that I AM a success? Can't you see that I HAVE made good?" Sal's eyes snapped too. A little of the kindness left her voice. "Yes, Vicky, you've made good all right -with a gun in your hand.' These last words were grim with contempt. "Oh, Vicky, I'm only talking this way because-oh, because I want to see you something big - not something hunted. It's still not too late. You can settle with society, and some day come back big and sraight. You can-" Vicky interruped. He snarled. All the hate and cynicism that he hoarded poured forth. "Don't feed me that malarky, gal. You're talk- in like Warden Lawes now. You know they don't ever come back straight-if they come back at all. I'm doomed! I've passed the fork in the road, and now I'm on a one- way street. There's no turning back -there's just one way to go." His voice lowered but his face remain- ed defiant, "-and one end in store." There was a knock at the cabin door. Vicky grabbed the automatic and stood. "Who's there?" he called. The voice outside was cool and assured. "Open up peaceful, Victor. I don't WANT to shoot." "Come on in, Sherm. The door's unlocked." Slowly the door swung open, and Sherman stood framed in its en- closure. The gun he held was level in his right hand. He was well dressed, and spoke with refinement, "Put down the gun, Vicky. Aft- er four years you and I are going somewhere together again." Vicky tossed the gun to the table top. He was almost conciliatory. "O.K., copper, you win, only I should think you would have liked the publicity of a good gun fight better." Sherman was serious. "You're the one who should have liked the gun fight." he mocked, "All your bud- dies died with a gun in their hand. I'm afraid they're going to feel that you let them down when you join them." He advanced into the cabin, handcuffs gleaming in his left hand. With a single, instantaneous mo- tion Sal upset the table; like light- ening Vicky struck. His automatic cracked Sherman's wrist, and in a fleeting second captor was captive. "Now walk. Turn around and walk to that door." Vicky was sin- ister and awful. Despite the fear that must have been in him, Sherman squared him- self, turned, and faced the door. "I'm not afraid of you, Vicky. You (Continued on page 35.) Greenspon's DANIELS LUMBER COMPANY Destroyers-Cont. (Continued from page 31.) Ray Kieffer, 20, St. Louis, 5' 11", Sleek. Gene Rodemick, 21, St. Louis, 6' 1", Sleek. Elwin Tetrault, 19, Kankakee, Ill., 6' 2", Sleek. Charles Geiger, 19, St. Louis, 5' 10", Interceptor. SIGMA PHI EPSILON ESCHELON Ralph McConathy, 21, Roodhouse, Ill., 6' 2", Sleek. DELTA TAU DELTA ESCHELON Gene Carlock, 17, Evereton, 6' 11", Interceptor. Stuart Gilman, 17, Hudson, S. D, 6' 11", Sleek. Jim Austin, 18, Trenton, 6' 2", Pursuit. Marion D. Waltner, Jr., Kansas City, 5' 10", Counter-Attack. KAPPA SIGMA ESCHELON Bill Meyer, 19, Webster Groves, 5' 7", Pursuit. Jack Duke, 19, Kansas City, 5' 10", Counter- Attack. James McKee Clark, 18, University City, 5' 11", Pursuit. Warren Ritchhart, 20, St. Louis, 5' lg", Sleek. Eddie Moore, 19, St. Louis, 6' 2", Pursuit. Phil Townsend, 16, Chicago, Ill., 6', Counter- Attack. Philip McGrath, 19, Chicago, Ill, 5' 10", Counter- Attack. Charlie Roth, 19, St. Louis, 5' 11", Counter- Atack. PHI DELTA THETA ESCHELON Leon Bentley, 18, Glasgow, 5' 10", Pursuit. Tom Collins, 18, Eldon, 6', Counter-Attack. Tom Edwards, 18, Eldon, 5' 10", Pursuit. Bill O'Herin, 19, Webster Groves, 5' 9", Sleek. Foster Smith, 19, St. Joseph, 6' Retreat. Bill Risley, 19, Excelsior Springs, 5' 11", Sleek. Massey Watson, 18, Columbia, 5' 7", Pursuit. George Vought, 18, Columbia, 6', Interceptor. ALPHA GAMMA RHO ESCHELON Bob Kunz, 19, Kansas City, 5' 11", Pursuit. Tom Westphiling, 20, St. Joseph, 5' 8", Sleek. Howard Dale, 21, Sheldon, 5' 9", Pursuit. (Continued on page 34.) DEAN'S Destroyers-Cont. (Continued from page 33.) BETA THETA PI ESCHELON Edward Hurley, 19, Sedalia, 5' 10", Pursuit Carlton Jones, 18, Ft. Warren, Wyo., 6', Counter- Attack Loran Shaffer, 19, Joplin, 5' 11", Sleek Eddie Jayne, 20, Kirksville, 6' 2", Sleek ACACIA ESCHELON John Kraus, 19, St. Louis, 6', Interceptor Jim Keller, 17, St. Louis, 5' 8", Sleek George Carrier, 20, Hannibal, 5' 11", Interceptor SIGMA CHI ESCHELON Phil Mings, 20, Big Sandy, Tex., 6', Interceptor Dick Rudolph, 20, St. Louis, 5' 9". Pursuit Bill Fisher, 18, Jefferson City, 6' 2", Pursuit Carl Nichols, 18, Kansas City, 5' 11", Sleek Hall Stratton, 17, Kansas City, 6' 1/2", Pursuit Jack Hader, 19, Higginsville, 5' 101", Sleek Chuck Underwood, 18, Fergus Falls, Minn., 6' 1", Interceptor SIGMA ALPHA EPSILON ESCHELON Warren Harris, 21, Doniphan, 6', Interceptor Tom Knight, 18, Lebanon, 5' 11", Counter-Attack Roy Kinnaird, 19, Chillicothe, 6' 2", Counter- Attack George Shults, 19, Blue Mound, Ill., 6' 1", Sleek Bob Clousey, 19, Gainesville, Ga., 5' 11", Sleek Bob Nelson, 20, St. Louis, 5' 10", Interceptor ZETA BETA TAU ESCHELON Sheldon Meyer, 17, St. Louis, 5' 51/2", Pursuit Bob Cohn, 17, Kansas City, 5' 9", Counter-Attack Bob Melcher, 18, Kansas City, 5' 8", Interceptor Herb Gershon, 19, Kansas City, 5' 10", Sleek Don Lurie, 18, Springfield, 6' 1", Pursuit PHI SIGMA DELTA ESCHELON Stan Schiller, 17, Chicago, Ill., 5' 9", Sleek Larry Levy, 17, Brooklyn, N. Y., 5' 4", Pursuit Leslie Slote, 18, Brooklyn, N. Y., 5' 10", Inter- ceptor LAMBDA CHI ALPHA ESCHELON Tex Dryden, 23, St. Louis, 6' 6", Pursuit "When I hold you and squeeze you in my arms like this honey, something within me seems to snap." "Yes, pardon me a moment till I fasten it again." The Treasure Chest Buchroeder's SIGMA ALPHA MU ESCHELON Lawrence Haus, 19, Kansas City, 6', Sleek Lou Fehr, 19, Marion, Ind., 6' 3", Sleek George Moll, 18, St. Louis, 6' 1", Sleek Charlie Hirson, 20, St. Louis, 5' 8", Pursuit Alvin Nissenbaum, 17, St. Louis, 6' 1", Pursuit Herbert Rope, 17, Kansas City, 5, 9", Counter-Attack Ed Brownstein, 18, St. Louis, 5' 11", Sleek. REVENGE-Cont. may be tough, and you may be a killer, but you won't shoot your own brother in the back. I'm not afraid because I know you haven't got the guts enough to pull that trigger." Sal gasped, and clung, staring, to Vicky's arm. Sherman had made the gesture of a brave man. She saw it as he began to walk slowly to the door. A leer parted Vicky's lips. Sal thought she had never seen his teeth so white. The big automatic jerk- ed and vomited orange flame. "Now maybe we can see your guts a little plainer." "I was thinking seriously of going TRI DELT, but the Phi Delts have been putting the pressure on me." Miller's Nobody's gonna be funny in this office but me, SEE! Topic Cafe "Damn those Pi Phi's!" Clerk: "This is a sixty dollar bed, folks, but I'll cut the price to thirty dollars if you act on it immediately." ROUND TOWNER CONT. Basin Street, a group of razor- edged, liver-lipped groovers in any- body's language. The Society works over in fine fashion eight swing classics by the master, W. C. Handy. Especially good are the original "St. Louis Blues" and the mournful "Beale Street Blues". The Chamber Music guys do themselves up proud; the clarinet player is hot enough to light cigars on. It's a must for any dyed-in-the-wool cat. "Jaz Classics", an album by one who is a "great" of jazz, Louie Armstrong, is second on the list. It's comforting to hear Mushmouth on wax again. In Classics he revives some of the first, low-down tunes of the early jazz days. "Gut Bucket Blues", "Oh, Oh, Oh", and "Musk- rat Ramble" are the high spots of the Armstrong job. Incidentally, while on jazz classics, the Bix Beiderbecke memorial album on Victor is a whale of a good buy. The records are pretty old and the noise is huge, but Bix's rides are worth any amount of scrape, From the dirty glances thrown this way by the beetle-browed ed- itor, the Record department can tell that it's deadline time, so we'll be signing off again until next month; unless the Hayes Office catches up with the publication, we'll be back with all the dope on the latest from all the dives and adunps of the fair town. 'Til then, heps-cats and alli- gatore, hold on and keep 'em riding. BARTH CLOTHING CO., Inc. CONFESSIONS OF A NASTY SPI (Special Pledge Investigator) (A letter from a Pledge-Judge) Frankly, our defense mech- anisms have always consisted of a quick comeback, another dash of lipstick, or an auntie in Osh- kosh with demands on our week- end time; but we thought we could tell a sure-fire cartridge from a blank, so we enlisted in the noble cause of special Show- me agents. We may never win Victoria Crosses for our deeds of valor, but we did undergo much close-range fire and a slight case of butterflies all for the sake of giving you the vital statistics on this latest crop of recruits, ye pledges! We had lots of side-comments we wanted to add. First among these is that we are praying Dr. McKinney doesn't have to leng- then his office hours because of sudden cases of inferiority com- plexes, or that other nasty ex- treme (e. g.: the "Rosy" outlook of a certain Beta pledge), be- cause of mistakes in our neces- sarily snap judgments. It's all in fun, and for variety's sake we had to have a few gas-masks; but we admit that we don't have the expert's eye for detecting camou- flage. Another marginal note-we couldn't find a classification for the D. U.'s super-boogie-woogie specialist, George Hamilton, and we're still laughing at their "Bugle Boy" act. We wanted to talk to Earl Stark, of the Fiji lodge, about his basketball aspir- ations, and Carl Nichols down at the Sigma Chi house about his football future. In fact, there were any number of things we would have liked to take up if we hadn't been practically "on march" all the time. Thanks a million for the cokes, and the cigarettes, and the laughs, and your hospitality- Operator X "Why do you call Janet Take, 'Mis Take'?" "Well, you see, it's so easy to make a mistake." A tourist was enjoying the wonders of Missouri as pointed out by a native. "What beautiful grapefruit," he said as they drove past a grove of citrus trees, "Oh those lemons are a bit small owing to the comparative- ly bad season", explained the Missourian. "What are those enormous blossoms?" inquired the tourist a little farther on. "Just a little patch of dande- lions", answered the guide. Presently they reached the Missouri River. "Ah," said the tourist, "someone's radiator is leaking". "Stephens doesn't allow anyone to sit here. You'll have to move!" The Novus Shop Robert: "Darling, let's have a secret love code. If you nod, I can hold your hand, if you smile, I can kiss your lips." She: "Please don't make me laugh." "Have you ever tried to tackle Stueber?" I bought my girl some garters, At the Woolworth five and ten, She gave them to her mother- That's the last I'll see of them. -Sundial. Joe: "There I was, forced down on a desert island with a lovely blond." Blow: "What did you do for food?" Joe: "Darned if I can remem- ber." H.R. Mueller Florist "Let's pledge him. He can raise our grade average." Missouri Utilities Co. EVER EAT CAFE Graphic Engraving Service And this is lesson one, in "How to Sell Showme". The pretty girls as the clock goes are: Yvette Heyman, Phi Sigma Sigma; Evelyn Klein, Phi Sig Sig; Mary Rose, Gamma Phi; Marybelle Lawing, Gamma Phi; Wanda Gold, Tri Delt; Frances Allison, Theta; and Jane Haggerty, Kappa. That's Lucky Hadden in the middle again. FORNEY'S STUDENT SERVICE MISS SHOWME CONTEST STANDINGS OF SALESGIRLS Martha Sue Billings Barbara Johnson Mary Ruth Oliver Jane Haggerty Mary McKeown Pat Sullivan Mary Belle Lawing Wanda Gold Eleanor Langevin Bette Lewis Nancy Kelley Dorothy Allen Evelyn Klein Jerry Epp Kathleen Lyman Yvette Heyman Francis Allison Gloria Hunter Dorothy Hoefel Lorraine Stephenson Margaret Letwin Mary Rose Mary Meyer Molley Phelps Mary Carr Jane Scarbrough Marjorie Meierhoffer Jean Durant Aeleen Felts Peggy Sayward Elizabeth Jacobs June Sexton Martha Morton Laura Jane Barker Janet MacBeth Anita Scholer Ginny Hicks Ann Taylor LaCROSSE LUMBER CO. "I must apologize for my dancing. I'm a little stiff from Bad- minton." "My dear man, I don't care where you came from." -Nobody claimed this one Columbia Laundry THE DROP INN CAFE "Well I'll be dammed! You look just like Margie." The wonderful love of a beautiful maid, And the wonderful love of a true blue man, And the wonderful love of a soul unafraid, Battling life as best they can. And the wonderful love of the little ones, Still greater the love of a mother. But the greatest love is the greater love, Of one dead drunk for another. Pepsi-Cola Missouri Workshop The Jacqueline Shop Camel Cigarettes