Missouri Showme February, 1947 Missouri Showme February, 1947 2008 1947/02 image/jpeg Publications & Alumni Communications These pages may be freely searched and displayed. Permission must be received for subsequent distribution in print or electronically. Please contact hollandm@missouri.edu for more information. Missouri Showme Magazine Collection University of Missouri Digital Library Production Services Columbia, Missouri 108 show194702

Missouri Showme February, 1947; by Students of the University of Missouri Columbia, MO 1947

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Missouri Showme 20cents Showme Girl Issue Camel Cigarettes THIS MONTH'S COVER ,JHIS weird and intoxicating cover carries with it a weird and intoxicating story, along with three weird and intoxicating con- temporary characters, willing upon themselves the titles of artists. It all began one dark and dismal night, in a dark and dismal room, where three dark and dismal char- acters labeled "Snort" Walker, "Gube" Gabriel, and "Fizzel" Fair- field are hunched over their draw- ing boards in laborous fatigue. A voice pierces the silence. "Your deal, Snort." March 12, 1947. That is the dead line for the SHOWME cover. Sweat, fever, and excitement hang in the thick, brooding, musty air. Who will be the first to utter the famous words that will be the foundation of a cover? Who? Silent meditation still persists. Then-then suddenly like a ray of sun through the window shade on a Monday morning, like a flash- light poked in the window of a parked car, comes the thought, the idea that thrills their hearts with excitement. "Com'mon, let's go out and get a beer. I can't think of anything" muttered Gube. Mort's Cover Gabe's Cover The Jacqueline Shop Ah such modesty that man pos- sesses. He gives forth with the most brilliant proposal of the eve- ning that makes their morbid ears tingle with joy and then claims he "can't think of anything." Like Shakespeare, he can say what is on everyone's mind, but never before so well put. So over the bottle of beer they brew. An hour or two passes and still no brilliant idea comes forth out of the darkness. Slowly Fiz- zel's head sags to the bar and his limbs grow limp and watery. It is then through his haft-mast eyes that he sees the exotic sight that so many Missouri students have seen but have been unable to rec- ord. Like an artist wishing to cap- ture the rapture of the setting sun, he sets about with pen and paper to be the first to record this docu- ment. Like the towering statute of Liberty the bottle beer near his nose looms over him, as the rest of the bar fades in the distance. If he can only capture the splendor of this sight he will bring to every- one in their rooms at college that ecstasy one feels only with his head on the bar. Therefore, on busy nights when students are heaped with homework, all they need do is look at the picture and they can get the pleasant feeling of relaxation for a moment. Instantly the inspiration came to the other artists, "Snort" and "Gube" to do their view from where they were. The artists set madly about drawing, in competi- tion, each determined to win the place on the cover. But Fizzel slipped a Mickey in their beer and fled to the SHOWME office just in time for the dead line. Suzanne's LIZ WOOD Alpha Chi Omega BEVERLY ROWAN Kappa Alpha Theta PAT STANGEBYE Gamma Phi Beta Showme Girl of 1947 and her Court LOUISE STARK, brown-eyed brunette from Harrison, Arkansas, has been balloted the Showme Girl for 1947. Louise, a senior in advertising has had close asso- ciation with the magazine, having been modeling director this year. She plans to go into magazine work after graduation. She is a member of Chi Omega sorority. LOUISE STARK Chi Omeg A Day With Being attractive early in the morning is the true test of a beauty queen. Wednesday evening date starts with a quick game of bridge before dinner at the Pi K A House. Off to the 8:30 class with a sad goodbye to her best friend, Taffy. Lucky 'steady' of the Showme Girl is Frank Hash. Here he's showing her off to the Pi K A brothers. Showme Girl Time out from studies in the afternoon for a 'coke date'. Hours in the typography lab are part of the day's ,ork for the Showme Girl. Studies call again as Louise turns to the library for a quick review. The picture must have been good, at least a bit amusing, A warm goodnight on a cold Chi 0 front porch ends a day with the Show- me Girl of 1947. Town Baedeker For Green Grow the Lilacs the Workshop people get flung a lilac bouquet-with maybe only one small brick tucked in amongst the blossoms. Under the Director Donovan Rhynsberger's practiced eye, music and the dance have been nicely blended into the frothy Lynn Rigg comedy-drama and for the same Herbert Phillipi designed scintillating sets Ro- mance, though, in the show misses just the least bit and this is strange to be sure because rumor has it that off the boards Stanley Nein- stadt and Eileen Farmer (-the Curly and Laurie of the piece) are talented coo-birds indeed as a two- some. Give the Burall folks resound- ing thumps on the back for their You Can't Take It With You and to Cameron King, production chief, the plaudits of the multi- tude. If this presentation of Kauf- man and Hart's ace comedy is an amateur show, you wouldn't know it. But sneak peaks of The Man Who Came to Dinner, now being readied for the footlights by the Columbia Players, are not too en- couraging. The Man Who Came to Dinner was penned by the same two master playwrights who dashed off You Can't Take It With You but you would'nt hesi- (Continued on page 20) 8 Missouri Showme March 25, 1947 FOOLISH MONTH FEATURES THE SHOWME GIRL-Political astuteness was by no means entirely responsible for the election of the Showme Girl as the pictures inside reveal. SOUTH TO MEXICO--For those who have had a fleeting desire to cut classes for a month or so, here is an account by a man who did it and succeeded. WORLD FEDERALISM-An interview with the driving force behind a not-too-widely-known, but potent organization in our midst. JESSE HALL CHAOS-Just let the officials turn old Jesse over students for one one day and see what would happen. STAFF DAVE McINTYRE, Editor DAVE BOWER FRANK HASH TED WEEGAR Advertising Director Editors emeritus DICK HALL DON MILLER Subscriptions Associate Editor MORT WALKER Assistant Editor PHIL SPARANO PHIL SPARANO CLYDE HOSTETTER Business Mgr. Photo Editor Photo Editor BILL STREETER LOUISE STARK Promotion Director Modeling Director RANDY MITCHELL PETE PAPPAS Adv. Art. Director Circulation Mgr. CHAVO BELL Collections Advertising Staff: Liz Greening, Bill Gray, Bob Summers, Jean Moon, Frank Lewis. Don Carter Art Staff: Bill Gabriel, Flash Fairfield, Otto Press. Bob Tonn Around The Columns Overheard 27HE wind was right and we were walking on the downhill side of the baised walk in front of the Old Chemistry Building which made it easier for us to hear at least the most interesting part of the following succulent bit of conversation. "The trunk lid was down", she said, "and so we didn't even know that there had been an accident." Uncle Harry SYNDICATE wires were jam- med early this month with all sorts of material on the Presi- dent's recent journey south of the border. The accompanying re- porters had a field day writing of everything from a typical Mexican breakfast to the way the President climbed into his Mexican bed. We thought the gayest note of our favorite son's excursion, how- ever, came from Texas, where, while certain malcontents were protesting because of Uncle Harry's familiarity with Bourbon and a full house, the Chief Exe- cutive was awarded an honorary degree of Baylor University. The president of that univer- sity, who was to make the pres- entation was asked please not to mention the fact that Mr. Tru- man's mother had refused to sleep in A. Lincoln's bed in the White House. "The vast majority of the country," he was told, "actual- ly believe the War-between-the- States has been over these many years." But not in Texas. Experience NOW that the magazine has gone out on a limb to sponsor a queen, we have added to our gen- eral store of knowledge and ex- perience the tormoil caused by entering the confines of the feminine pulchritude-evaluating world. Our sympathy is all with the judges in Atlantic City. Whether it is local custom or not, we are not prepared to say, but the announcement of a beauty, popularity, or personality contest at the University is tantamount to waving the red flag in the bull's face-at least as far as the distaff side is concerned. The truth of the matter is that the multiplicity of queen contests here is caused by the fact that there are simply more candidates than the business can handle. Were there established daily queen con- tests-which is not far from actuality-each would still be ty- pified by a havoc of campaigning and a hurricane of returns. Competition in the field, due to the presence of two exclusively feminine institutions in addition to the coeds of the University makes one realize that here is the core of the game. How simple it must be to run such a contest at West Point, or Annapolis, for instance. There, of course, the main advantage is the distance be- tween the candidates and the judges and we cannot underesti- mate the value of space in this particular type of fray as a tactical defense. Arrival SINCE the final mark of suc- cess of any publication is to have its copies read in the right places, we were duly impressed and report with somewhat pride of seeing 9 our periodical displayed promin- ently on the window ledge near the president's desk of one of our local banking establishments. The general impression being that bankers are usually humor- less individuals whose main ob- ject in life is taking up mortgages from poor, destitute widows with no visible means of support ex- cept a young and charming daugh- ter, we felt that our pinnacle had been reached. Modesty kept us from openly asking the head money lender if he had read and enjoyed our hu- mor. That, and a rather nebulous fear that the reason for the maga- zine being there was some sort of a financial plot to close in on us. But we weren't above hovering around until we saw one or two of the bank employees look at the issue and chuckle appropriate- ly. Reflection eVERYONE'S favorite char- acter at the University, the legen- dary and factual center of any number of tall stories and escap- ades, Prof. Jesse Wrench en- deared himself even more to our hearts recently when he pointed out the faults of University stu- dents in clear and direct terms. If it is necessary that a man who would speak the truth without garnishing it in obscure terms be himself an eccentric, then we feel that eccentrics of this type are a vital and necessary part of any University. What is most humorous about the incident, and, no doubt, what is responsible for Puck's line "What Fools These Mortals Be" 10 is the fact that so many people can look true facts in the eye, see- ing, as it were, a mirror-like re- flection, and without batting an eye say "that is someone else." We were as much upset as the Tiger Claws that an unforseen difficulty prevented Professor Wrench from receiving his most deserved tribute at the Oklahoma basketball game. We couldn't escape, however, linking the inci- dent with registration time when the door of'the library is guarded with such true-steel zeal by our self-same favorite professor. Sales WE have watched with broth- erly interest the transformation of the Missouri Student to a strictly commercial enterprise, and have felt that at least part of their sales technique should be incorporated into business school courses in Marketing Methods. We enjoy most of all the spiel of their most avid salesman who confronts us weekly in the middle of Jesse Hall at an early and un- enthusiastic hour with a gay and light line of chatter good enough for the Frigidaire representative in the Alaskan territory. We feel, however, that the edi- tors should know that this particu- lar salesman is slighting whatever qualities they may claim for their publication by claiming it to be the best thing in the world for hiding crib notes in an early morn- ing test. Sufferin' Cats! RIDING the city transit sys- tem gives us a chance to catch up on our collection of choice over- heard conversations. We caught this bit the other day on a west- bound bus. Two local matrons, having exi hausted the supply of gossip turned to a discussion of world af- fairs. "Why, in Russia," one of them whispered, "all a man has to do to get rid of his wife is drop a postcard in the mail box." "Oh, those Communists!" the other clucked. "Why, they don't even believe in women's suffrag- ing." First Signs 4 CORRESPONDENT, dis- patched to the pastoral sections south of the campus, reports that with the melting of the late winter snows, the Hinkson has already had its first visitation by nature- loving pilgrims. He knows, he testified, because he followed two sets of footprints sunk deep in the spring mud which led to a grassy knoll on an embankment overlooking the stream, where at the foot of a tall oak tree was the distinct impres- sion of a blanket, and a half dozen empty beer bottles. Sometimes I wonder if it wouldn't save a lot of trouble just to develop a personality. World Federalism PROMPTED by our political editor, who feels the term com- munism is too frequently misused these days, we-went in search of an old friend of our last week whose activities we have watched with special interest since the stu- dent United Nations Conference held at the University last No- vember. We are speaking of the Student Federalists who come in for a lot of radicial name calling around the campus when the real trouble is that no one knows about them. We will admit that our first im- pression wasn't star-spangled when we heard this group advocated a new type world government and it most ardent worked had the sub- versive sounding name of Sieloff. Upon closer investigation, how- ever, we found that the group is endorsed by the University and has such speakers as Dean Elmer Ellis for its weekly meetings. We went in search of this fel- low Chester S. Sieloff and found him living quietly with his wife in a modest apartment over on Pro- vidence Rd. Jokingly we sug- gested to Sieloff that he run out the samovar and tell us about himself and the Student Federal- ists over a hot cup of tea. "You writers are all the same", he said with resignation. "You are always coming up here to find. out about us and when you find that we're not laving plans to dynamite Jesse Hall, nothing ever gets printed about us." We asked Sieloff to exrlain to us just a little about the S.F. here at the University and what rhey were up to. It seems that there are about 100 students in the Missouri Chapter and Sieloff is their more or less permanent vice- president. He explains this by 12 saying that he feels he can do more for the organization as a constant advisor (sor of a Ber- nard Baruch, he calls it) than as president. From a pecuniary standpoint, office holds no glamour as no salaries are paid to anyone. As a matter of fact, there aren't even dues paid by the members, although donations are taken. "Two of the main purposes of the Student Federalists", Sieloff continued, "are to stimulate think- ing on the urgent need for world government to preserve world peace, and to educate our gen- eration in the principles of fed- eralism". In carrying out these ideas the Student Federalists helped spon- tall to explain the workings ot the United Nations. It was quite a spirited meeting, Sieloff recalled, sor the mock U.N, conference last with "china" and "Egypt" making violent opposition to the resolu- tion that the U.N. break diplo- matic relations with Franco Spain. Through meeting and confer- ences such as this the S.F. are try- ing to show the definite need for world federation where all na- tions would live together. Sieloff says he became con- nected with the S.F. in somewhat of an indirect method.' After graduating fr o m Arlington Heights (Ill.) High School in 1932 he was Scoutmaster and Ac- tivities Director at Park Ridge, a year-round Boys Scout camp out- side of Chicago. He stayed with this work until 1941 when he be- came a singing comedian on the National Barn Dance over station WLS in Chicago. He got the nod from Uncle Sam in 1942 and was sent to the Fourth Armored Division where he became a T/5 peep driver. One sandy day in the Mojave Desert .in California, while the "Famous Fourth" was chasing itself up and down on manuvers, Sieloff's foot was crushed and he was shipped off to a hospital shortly before his outfit went overseas. It was in the hospital that Sie- loff was first impressed with the fact that the world had better start hanging together instead of separately. Viewing casualties returning from overseas, he devel- oped a deep-seated conviction that there can be World Peace. After farming for a year after his discharge in 1945, he entered the University as a pre-law stu- dent. He says that if he hadn't run across an organization like the Student Federalists he would have founded something along that line himself. 'That's just about it," Sieloff concluded. The organization is small now, he admitted, but we're going ahead in carrying out our conviction that World Peace can be achieved through cooperation of nations of the world. Here the ribbon fell of the spool and I'm just superstitious enuf to feel it was some sort of supernatural message to stop, al- though I've drawn no conclusion. - WEEGAR Queen Margot By Charles Nelson Barnard 27HE time has come again to elect a queen. Everybody will be doing it in rapid succession from now until June, for it's an ancient custom at Mizzou-one which has been perpetuated down through the years. The history of Mizzou queen elections is, therefore, an interesting one-full of incidents and anecdotes; tales foolish and fabulous. The story of Queen Margot is an example: It was my privilege to be an ob- server at that fateful meeting, many years ago, when it was de- cided that Margot-Margot the Magnificient, as she was later to be known-should be the candi- date for the 'interests'-of the campus faction. Head of the faction was Larry Lemaine, one of the most talented and extra-ordinary local politicians ever to spend his mornings at the Campus Drug. If any one could engineer the election of a queen, it was Larry. And Margot-with whom his name hand been linked in the social columns for two con- secutive weeks-was his choice. "Men," he said, holding court in the back room of the Shack, "this will take organization, work, unselfish devotion on the part of each of you." His circle of vas- sals nodded-and why not? Was it not wise to cooperate with Larry? To be known by him? Even to be seen with or near him? Was he not president of five stu- dent organizations and a member of three others? Did he not spend each Friday 'til early Sunday morn- ing in evening clothes? Did not the Collins bar-keep know him by name? What greater testi- mony was there? Who could re- fuse to follow such a giant person- ality unquestioningly? "With the power of our influ- ence on campus," he went on, "we can swing every group into line. We'll get pledged and promised votes-and, for those who don't swing into line, there'll be no com- mittee jobs, no patronage, no plums. I'll see to that!" Over the fawning chorus of 'You can do it Larry', etc., boss Larry imposed his plans. As he gently tapped a cigarette from his pack, a dozen lighters clicked into ready flame. The meeting didn't break for three more hours. Over (Continued on page 21) "--and it should be noted that the price level will. "13 13 South to Mexico George Whittington George The follouing is an account of a three-month "hookey" time taken by one of the University's more pioneer- ing spirits, who early in October, after having sat through a sunitmer session of classes, decided that a Mexico vaca- tion was in order. This is by no mean:s George's first foreign or Mexican visit. In addition to his other risits there, he spent sonme time in Europe as a tank corps cap- tain and has served time in China waters with the marines, under ui'hose banner he won the fleet healyweight croiwn. George is now a student in the School of Journalism-that is, until wanderlust strikes again. ONE night in October when the fall semester was well under way and a cool breeze was begin- ning to hint at an early winter, and a cold one, I suddenly realized that as far as school was concerned I had had it. This realization, arrived at through deep introspection and the contents of a bottle of Scotch, 14 was clear. I suddenly felt that if I hear danother lecture---dull or otherwise':.- or wrote another exam, I should jump up and scream like a mashed duck. Blow my top, that is. Thus I decided to take the easy way out. I'd take off, go to Mexico or some other place and bask in the sun, forget my troubles perhaps, repeat perhaps, return much refreshed. Without wasting time I secured my withdrawal the next day by checking out with Dean Mott of the School of Journalism, the Veterans Administration, and the Registrar, in that order. Not long after this process I found myself wheeling down the road to Mexico, recaps singing and a heavy foot on the gas. Es- cape at last! To hell with school! To hell with education! At last the Mexican border ap- peared through the cracked wind- shield of my jalopy. Getting through the customs is no trouble except that the American officials have to be sure the prospective turista doesn't intend to sell his car. Prices are high across the border and one can make a neat profit on vehicles. However, they took one look at mine and said, "Brother, you can cross in that thing. Nobody in his right mind would buy that." (They were right, too, because I still have the old wreck.) By this time the weather was warm and really seemed serious about staying that way. After breezing through Mon- terrey, where the beer that made Milwaukee jealous comes from, I crossed the Tropic of Cancer, and was surprised to see no dotted line as is usually shown on maps. Finally, after driving over a winding road, which rises through steep mountains to the high Val- ley of Mexico, I approached Mexico City It is a beautiful mod- ern city, much like Paris in some ways. After tearing around the city for a few weeks, devoting my time to bullfights, bars, and other educa- tional activities, I turned south- ward toward the much publicized resort of Acapulco, on the west coast of Mexico. Acapulco, in the state of Guer- rero, leaves nothing to be de- sired. It is all it's cracked up to be. Besides such sports as swim- ming, fishing, reclining on the warm sand, lying in hammocks, and just lying, there is much hunting. In the surrounding countryside there are more weird birds and animals than you could shake a stick at. Jaguars, deer, rabbits, iguanas (large edible lizards which have meat like chicken), ducks, and wild chickens barge around (Continued on page 24) Sports Scene "Sparky" Stalcup's Mizzou cag- ers closed their 1947 season with a defeat, 48-38, at the hands of the K.U. Jayhawks, ancient Ben- gal rivals. But despite this final disappointment, Stalcup has turned in a commendable record in his first year as mentor of the Tigers, and Showme sports writ- ers hurry to join the well-wishers congratulating the fine coach and his crew. The Kansas game, played be- fore a scant crowd of 150 fugi- tive from the "flu" ban, was rough from start to finish, with a total of 61 fouls called against the two teams, Seven players were invited to leave the game, five from Mis- souri and two Kansans, because of personal fouls. Charley Black, the K.U. all- American, was as good as his press releases that night, scoring the first, the most, and the best for the Jay birds. The loss did nothing to the league standings, however, since Kansas had had too many previous losses and Missouri stood too far behind Oklahoma. The Brewer Field House might well have been regarded as a minature Madison Square Garden in recent weeks, with track, base- ball, tennis, and spring football all in full swing. M.U's. baseball squad has high aspirations for its coming season. Coach John "Hi" Simmons has a multitude of talent from which to choose his starting nine. Nine lettermen are returning to bolster the squad: "Stu" Finlayson, "Bus" Entsminger, Jack Moran, Herb Waeckerle, Ollie Hook, Bob Spinks, Warren Walk, Thornton Jenkins, and Kenny Bounds. Simmons will also have the serv- ices of Darrell Lorrance, who let- tered in baseball at the Univer- sity of Kentucky last year. We feel that Mizzou will be ably represented on midwest dia- monds in the season which opens with a game against St. Louis U. on April 11. With the indoor track season already history, Tom Botts, able Tiger track coach, is preparing the Bengal cindermen for the coming outdoor meets. Bott's crew compiled an un- blemished indoor track record by winning the Bix Six Conference Track and Field Meet in Kansas City a month ago, and defeating three conference foes, Nebraska, Kansas State, and Kansas, in dual meets held in Brewer Field House. The indoor squad had consis- tent point-makers in every event, which gives every indication that Coach Botts will turn in a win- ning season in the outdoor meets. Coach Don Faurot has approxi- mately 100 men going thru the rigors of spring football practice. Faurot says all positions are open for the best men and the boys are sweating it out daily. The highlight of the six week's sessions will be the annual Alumni-Varsity football game. We aren't saying anything pro or con, but with Bob Stueber, Paul Christman, Bob Eichelberger, and others on campus. . . But what- ever happens, it will be an en- joyable game to watch. Mr. Faurot has a hard schedule this fall but has an optomistic view of things to come.-Bill Henderson and Ed Birmingham. Ad in The Missourian "'Wanted-Students experienced in timber cuttting wo ~ o do not haie Sat- urday classes. Phone . . . after 6:00 (Don't wuait up for our call.) 15 . Remember that beautiful spring day last week? M.U. Turns Jesse Hall Over to Student- Body, April 1st The '49'ers By Bill Streeter Snyopsis: In the last issue we caes- dropped with Doctor Pushkins as the eminent scientist set the dial of his time-recording machine at the year, 1981. We listened to the conversation of Bradley M. O'Connor and his wife, Adelia, as they reminisced over the details of the great registration of 1948, when only 'E' and 'S' students were allowed to register. They were just about to relate the hectic events connected with the registration of 1949 when the filament in Dr. Push- kins' time-recording machine burned out. Although we were left hanging in mid-air, the good doctor assured us that he could replace the filament as soon as the next issue of his fat'- orite magazine arrived. It seems that the filament uas made from fresh SHOW-ME covers, beaten to a pulp, mixed with stale beer, and allowed to dry over night. DOCTOR Pushkins nervously inserted the filament into the master-atomic tube. He turned on the control-switch and awaited re- sults. The dial was still set at the year, 1981. A smile of smug sat- isfaction overtook the renowned inventor as the familiar faces of Bradley and Adelia, two former student at Old Mizzou, appeared on the screen. With the curiosity of an incoming freshman, the old doctor hastened to tune in on their conversation:- "The year, 1949, was one we'll never forget," Bradley roared. "As soon as Mr. Mapleleaf announced that registration would be limited to the first 7,000 who applied, 18 things began to happen. The news electrified the state." Adelia pondered for a moment as she tried to remember how it all started. Suddenly she announced, "The first sign of the impend- ing chaos was when people began to arrive for registration shortly after the Fourth of July. These were the 'sooners.' Before anyone could ask for their proof of resi- dence in Columbia, they had pitched their tents underneath the columns and claimed 'squatter's rights.' "Yes," said Bradley, "overnight, the campus was turned into another Klondike. The 'sooners' had created a scare. The news of their arrival had even penetrated the wilds of Joplin. Just like the '49'ers of old, other students be- gan to arrive in their mad search for educational gold. They formed a line in front of the library, and by the first of August, it extended well into the Ninth Street tunnel." "Professional 'stand-ins' soon appeared on the scene," Adelia re- (Continued on page27) Tea-Berry Puckett's Lamb's Town Baedecker (Continued from page 3 ) tate to call this version a begin- ners' production. Celluloid spinning our way in a swirl of melody notes is the joy- ous photoplay The Jolsen Story, tagged the best musical biography since 1942's Yankee Doodle Dandy. Larry Parks who plays the part of Al Jolsen mixes in fact with sentimental fancy to get across the personality of a great entertainer, one who was singing before the turn of the century and still is today at 60. The filn tells the story of the song-and- dance man who began his career in the day of the ministrel show and has flourished through rag- time, the rise of the musical comedy, the jazz craze and the modern sound film. What if the picture does size Jolsen as a living embodiment of all the virtues listed in the boy scout oath. The color and splendor of this show, the music and wonderful songs make it a merry must on your movie card. But two other cinema bits ticketed for Columbia aren't on a par with the Jolsen extravaganza. If you like your women mean and nasty and pretty too, you might mildly enioy Hedy Lamarr in Strange Woman. If you liked Here Comes Mr. Jordan, whimsi- cal film of some years ago, you probably won't like Angel on My Shoulder which is the same story not as well told; this time it's a gangster instead of a orize fighter who poos back to life to square away one or two overlooked items of business. That's Columbia's fun menu and one or two of the items do catch the eye. --Pal Ryan, Jr. QUEEN MARGOT . (Continued from page 1i) a table laden with scores of wait- ing beers, the lieutenants listened dutifully to their campus captain. Many times during that afternoon did the Shack phone ring, followed by a loud call for "Larry Le- maire." And, as many times did the great man in psuedo exaspera- tion reply that he was too busy to take the call. Perhaps only I knew that the person calling was but another of his many hirelings assigned to the task of calling the "Boss" at frequent intervals. By such strategems had he become 'known'--but such tactics had he risen until the name Larry Le- maire was on every tongue. The campaign rocked the cam- pus to the very foundation of the columns. The lieutenants were out in full force, neglecting not a trick; each striving for the favor and approval of the chief. Posters blazoning the name of Margot the Magnificent occupied every prom- inent place'of display. Fleets of cars, willingly surrendered for the patronage of Lemaire, cruised Columbia's streets day and night. Radio time was purchased and aerial sky-writing planes spelled out MARGOT on the early spring air. Here was the power of the campus boss at its climax. Here was the reward for four years of loyal obedience to the former fac SUDDEN SERVICE CLEANERS Missouri Telephone Company THE PEN POINT tions. Here was the recompense for remembering names, for at- tending meetings, for being seen with the right people at the right time in the right place. "Here," thought Larry Lemaire in the full bloat of his triumph, "is real power. The final week was hectic. The big dance at which the votes would be cast was scheduled for Saturday. Tuesday found Larry and Margot at the Innside, a plush and elite little spot just west of Columbia, where they were greeted by the cordiality of the management. On Wednesday eve- ning, Windy Knoll was favored with their famous presence. Thurs- day found them in the cultured atmosphere of Heen's Golden Acre. Larry was at home in such surroundings. These were the "spots"-the Copacabanas of Col- umbia-the places where his henchmen could be found and where his lieutenants puffed with pride to be able to introduce to their dates, "Larry Lemaire!" Then came the great night- the night of the dance, of the elec- tion, of the final proof of Larry Lemaire's power at the old State U. Roving spotlights searched the night sky outside the gym- nasium, and the founding blare of the band floated on the evening air. Margot and Larry arrived strategically late. The lieutenants dutifully heralded their entrance with an appropriate round of greetings (loud enough for all to hear within a politically effective radius.) Larry acknowledged their presence, strolled with Margot to the bandstand where he reached a handshake up to the leader. Flash bulbs popped as the men of the Missourian pretended they had a presidential candidate fo- cused in their range finders. After thus exposing himself for a necessary five minutes, the great man and his queen-to-be left the thronging hundreds of the gym for the quiet seclusion of several private parties to which he had been invited as a matter of course. Only the lieutenants remained to vote and to safeguard the Le- maire Machine. After all, had he not told them at that final policy meeting in the CD, "Margot must be elected. It is essential to our political organization - to the perpetuation of our influence." And she was elected. Her pic- ture was on the front pages of the morning editions. The lieutenants gathered over their 10:30 coffee to discuss the campaign and to view with pride the headlines. But, from one of the booths came a voice of heresey: "Who's she?" "Who?" "This babe on the front page." "That's Margot!" "Oh, so that's her." "Don't you know her?" "Nope, never saw her before." C. S. C. TO HEAR LAST MARRIAGE TALK SUNDAY The last in a series of discussions on marriage will be offered to the public Sunday night at the weekly fellowship supper of the Christian Student Congregation. Dr. C. E. Lemmon will conduct the discussion on the subject ."Is This Marriage Necessary." -Missourian. (Not if you'll throw away your shotgun.) Frozen Gold Ice Cream Neff's Date and Candy Shop CAMPUS VALET CLEANERS SOUTH OF MEXICO . . . (Continued from page 14) looking for hunters to shoot them. Frequently they finlwhat they are looking for. There are other animals running around, too, but it would take a staff of naturalists to classify them. Among the most interesting spots are the beaches-playas, they are called in Spanish. There are morning beaches, afternoon beaches, and even a night beach. The night beach is Palya Suave, meaning smooth or soft beach, and it really is that. Those who have enough energy swim and paddle about on flat, pointed boards, known as tahlas, or if they are afraid of these, they can select the more stable flotador -a rowing platform mounted on two metal floats. But for those who like the quiet life-and I am definitely in this class-there is the age-old sport of simply lying on the soft, clean sand, soaking up tons of solar energy. This solar energy is a good thing to have stored up in case one has to go to cold cli- mates. (This is pretty obvious, isn't it?) Death-defying divers will leap from 150-foot cliffs into shallow water for a few pesos. This is a dangerous game, too. As Henry, the Guatamalan diver told me, "An American fellow are kill here, it makes six year ago." One might think divers would be hard to find, but such is not the case. They have had to form a union to cut down competition. Divers favor the closed shop. A number of trips can be made to interesting jungle scenes if one fancies underbrush and weird animals. (Pacific veterans are ad- vised to omit these side trips.) However, there is a fresh-water lake, and a river which joins the sea, for those who never have seen a river join the sea. The vigorous swimmer with a liking for adventure can gambol in the surf at Pie de la Cuesta or El Revolcadero. One interesting thing about the former is that sharks also like to swim there. They seldom attack turistas. May- be they have a union, too. But one cannot stay away from responsibilities and worry forever, no, not even in paradise. It was with no pleasure that I realized time was growing short. Finally it ran out. I left. But this was not before a final bullfight, some- what disappointing, and a last fling at the night spots of Mexico City. This fling came very near being my last, but last. The Mexicans have a saying, "You don't drink tequila, it drinks you." After a week of knocking myself out in CENTRAL DAIRY Miller's J.B. Simpson, Inc. the cantinas along with other hell- bound individuals, I am ready to endorse this saying. However, this fling was not without some good results. I met so fine people. It is my belief that the best people are found in bars. If you want to meet a good man, go into a bar and wait. He'll come in eventually. The return trip was uneventful, that is, until I reached Valles, a town about 500 miles south of the border. It was at this point that I began to have misgivings about returning at all. At Valles it was raining, and even worse, it was cold. To make a short story, the rain and cold increased with each northward mile. That is up to a certain point. After that it be- gan to snow. To make an even shorter story, I reached Columbia, Missouri, three months after leaving it. I arrived in a flurry of snow and cigar smoke. Both continue. Now back in the classes from which I escaped over there months ago I sit staring stupidly at the whirling snow outside. Perhaps I am thinking of gently waving palm trees, blue ocean under a brilliant sun, of soft-eyed senoritas --oh hell, when did he say Horace Greely died? '49'ERS ... (Continued from page 18) membered. "They could be hired through the Student Employment Office at the prevailing univer- sity wage of thirty-five cents an hour. The line lengthened as the month of August wore on." At this point Bradley waved his arms in desperation as he shouted, "Then tragedy struck! One dark September night some statis- tician figured out that he was hold- ing number 7,001 position in line. Believing taht he had nothing more to live for, he climbed to the top of Jesse Hall tower, and with a dramatic farewell to his fellow- '49'ers, he plunged to his death on the quonset hut below. Other disconsolate souls from the rear ranks cast themselves into the middle of Conley Avenue to be mangled to death by speeding taxis." "Murder and kidnapping soon followed," added Adelia. "Those at the end of the line figure that the only way they could register would be to 'liquidate' someone at the head of the line." "It couldn't go on," shouted Bradley. "A vigilante committee, composed of phys. ed. majors and law students, had to be organized to restore order." "Einally, the great day arrived," Adelia interrupted. "I can still Woolf Brothers Esser Drug Store COLLINS see that mob on the morning of September 17, 1949. Each would- be student with his mouth agape, eyes sunken, palsy-tidden, bent over like the hunchback of Notre Dame, trying to inch his way to- ward the library door Jesse Wrench, acting in his usual cap- acity as master-of-ceremonies, was swept off his feet by the avalanche of education-hungry youngsters dragging their high school diplo- mas, dripping with blood, behind them." "Registration proved to be a farce," Bradley said philosophical- ly. 'Ag' students signed up for Victorian Prose, and engineers took Animal Husbandry-any- thing, just .so they could start school. The entire registration process was just a preliminary for the petitioning that was to fol- low." Bradley paused a moment in silent thought. Then he continued, "Sinister looking individuals scalped Permits to Enroll at a hundred dollars apiece in the dark corners of the Ninth Street tunnel. A black market in course cards soon flourished. The headquarters for this operation was the third- floor Men's Room in Read Hall, where entrance could be gained only by the magic words, 'Smoe sent me.' Other underworld char- acters forged advisor's initials on registration booklets. 'Confidence men' posing as members of the faculty, offered to 'fix' 7:30 classes for disgruntled students." A tear trickled down the cheek of Adelia as she thought of the aftermath of this reign of terror. "When registration was finally completed,' she sighed, 'the campus was a scene of devastation. Dur- ing the mad scramble for entrance, Dorn had lost Cloney, Gaebler's black had lost its gold, and three students had stepped on the white campus lawn without going through the paddle line. The GREYHOUND COFFEE SHOP The Novus Shop CHARLIE'S CAFE H.R. Mueller Florist tower clock had exploded into a million pieces when it accidentally struck the hour at the proper time." "The people who couldn't reg- ister were a pathetic-looking lot," Bradley reminded his wife. 'They wandered around the campus with a vacant stare in their eyes as they mumbled something about 'Open dat do, Jesse!' Many of these lost sheep were still around when the alumns arrived for Homecoming in late November. However, the alumns thought that they were just other alumns with premature hang-overs. Con- sequently they went on celebrating oblivious of the suffering, the heart-aches, and the mental an- guish of those who had not been among the chosen seven thou- sand." The conversation of Bradley and Adelia halted abruptly as Doc- tor Pushkins turned off the switch of his time-recording machine. He had heard enough. He couldn't stand any more. Any further de- scription of the ruined lives of in- nocent victims would only hurt all the more. How well he re- membered the strife-torn campus in that fateful year, 1949. "It couldn't possibly happen again," he mutter to himself. "After all, we don't have the Vet- erans Administration here on the campus any more," he mumbled as he waddled off to see the Dean of Men about chaperoning a blanket party on the Hinkson. She was only an Indian's daugh- ter but she didn't ask "How." She was only a cannibal's daughter, but she did have good taste. McQUITTY QUICK PRINTERS DANIEL BOONE HOTEL Ideas Johnny had some ideas Myrtle had hers too Thats why Johnny came to class With eyes so black and blue. -Tommy Riffle. I didn't know she was a golfer when she asked me to play a round. Why do men have hair on their chests? Well, they can't have every- thing! M.U. Boy: Darlin', I've lost all my money, haven't got a penny in the world. Stephens Susie: That won't make any difference to our love, dear. I'll love you just as much --even if I never see you again. As the little dog said, as he walked through the tobacco patch, "Does your cigarette taste dif- ferent lately?" 'Middle-Aged Woman wants clean kitchenette permanently." (Several preparations are on the market.) Item in the Tribune. Pickers of oranges and other citrus fruits are carefully trained. To avoid scratching or bruising the apple they wear gloves to snip the fruit off the branches. (That's right, folks just won't buy bruised grapes.) BARTH CLOTHING COMPANY, Inc. Life Savers Showme Joke Contest Best joke submitted each month will win a carton of Life Savers. Entries should be addressed to: SHOWME, Neff Hall, Columbia, Mo. Are You a B.M.O.C.? Identify these photos and prove that you get around. If you woke up from a stupor in one of these places would you know where you were?* ten points fifteen points ten points twenty-five points fifteen points twenty-five points *Prize for high points.twenty beers. BREEZY HILL Chesterfield Cigarettes