The empty next : families with grown children
Abstract
"Parents today may have some difficulty in knowing just when and how to let go of growing children. When does a child become an adult? When do we say "You are now on your own"? When he is legally able to vote and sign contracts? When he gets his own car and license? When he gets married? When he graduates from high school or when he graduates from college? We have no definite or easily identified time when young people become adults. In primitive society this was no problem. Young people in the middle teens went through a "rites of passage" which clearly said, "You are now an adult. Yesterday you were a child, today you are an adult." With early marriage and prolonged schooling, our adult society has a difficult time finding any ready-made answers to the questions of "When should we let go of children? Under what circumstances shall we continue to support them? When shall we put them on their own?" Adulthood today is evidenced by mature judgment in making decisions. The adult is independent from the undo influence of others, yet is willing to listen. However, adult independence does not blind a person to the interdependence of all people. Acceptance of responsibility for the consequences of one's own decisions is a mark of adulthood."--Page [3].
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